Hi, Phil called an Ambulance for himself whilst I was at work as he said he wasn’t feeling well. The paramedics came out and they think he has a UTI. This would explain the way he’s been. I’ve picked up some antibiotics for him and he’s now on them so hopefully things will get a bit easier.
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Well @Sue24, at least Phil had the sense to get help than not say anything, let’s hope you and Phil don’t have any more toilet problems.
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Oh Sue - I am pleased to read that Phil took action to help himself. A UTI WOULD explain irrational behaviour. I pray that things get easier for you.
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@Sue24 That was good that Phil rang for help himself. Hope the antibiotics kick in quick and you start to see an improvement in him.
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@Sue24 Antibiotics will disrupt gut - good to clear UTI but this will mean more diarrhoea. Also electrolyte imbalance, so checking BP is a good idea given his arrythmia…ask the GP
like we said on chat - when he’s less mobile and lying down the probability of UTI goes up
I’m relieved there’s support…but his is like before the 1st hospitalisation
because it’s a catch 22 for you all - no movement, UTI, antibiotics, messes, immobility, bp down, arrythmia, heart, cognitive issues…SORRRRYYYY
It’s just gone midnight and I’m worried for you because we ALL know it’s the crappy nights when things happen…literally and figutatively
I’d try to stay off any fizzy drinks, or very fibre related foods
I highly recommend doing a layered up bed - sheet-pads pads sheet, another of same layers…so you can strip in one go . At one point Dad used to sleep on 4 layers, and I’d have stripped 2 off in the night,
…sorry I just remembered that it’s hard to move Phil given his size - scrap all above.
Sending hugs, strength and most importantly grace and forgiveness - DO NOT try and move Phil yourself, unfortunately if he’s in a mess, there’s only so much you can do…
Be compassionate with yourself please…
I’ll check here and on chat.
To lovely everyone - sorry I’m not posting much we’ve had various stuff - Mum and I are okay but several friends are starting cancer journeys / restarting …young and older…SUCKS…today count waiting on news from 4 people…Count blessings everyone and savour the small tiny good things. BIG hugs
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@Sue24 Thinking of you . I have to agree with Victoria’s comments - it really does sound as if it is going to be a struggle. You must look after your own health and there is only so much you can do with regard to cleaning him up - you must not do it frankly.
@Victoria_1806 You sound as if you need and deserve a cyber hug too.
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Sue my heart goes out to you. Puts our issues into perspective.
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Thanks everyone, we are all going through hard times and I’m thinking of you all.
It’s very difficult to help Phil. They’ve said to him they want him to stay in bed in the morning until the carer comes as it’s easier for them to wash him in the bed and he can then move to bathroom to wash what he can. This morning at 6.15 he got up so I said to him he needed to go back to bed and explained why. He got back into bed. Now he’s just got back up again and gone down to the front room to his chair. I’ve just explained it all again to him and he said no that it was just yesterday they wanted him to stay in bed when they did his bladder scan. He won’t listen to me. I also said they’ve said to me that he is red and sore below to which he replied “I am not”. So I’m stressed already now!!!
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Hi @Sue24 I really feel for you. It sounds like you are between a rock and a hard place.
There is an option, which seems extreme, but it would ensure he gets a care home place. That would be to get him sectioned. A friend of mine did that for her mum. It really sounds like cognitively he can’t make decisions anymore. In any case, it is a safeguarding issue and you could call an ambulance and he could be taken to hospital and you just refuse to have him back again. It’s hard but the situation now doesn’t seem safe for you or him as he is not listening to you or the medical people and therefore, you would have a case for having him sectioned.
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@Sue24
This sounds very stressful for you.
I think you should keep a diary, (you could just cut and paste from here). Please share your concerns with the team. They will be making recommendations for post the free care period.
Hopefully, once the UTI is dealt with you will be able to resume your conversation with him re a care home or supported living.
The care workers will just have to get him to walk back to the bedroom and back on the bed to wash him.
At least he is moving more!
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@mscoachbeth…im not sure that would work. Especially as he has an UTI at the moment so that
May impair his thinking. I’ve just explained for the third time this morning why he has to stay in bed. He’s just gone back to the bedroom half an hour ago as he did get up and just tried to get up again!
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Thanks Melly1, Just trying to keep him back in bed for the moment as I know what will happen otherwise. He’ll get up and go to the front room then tell them he’s too tired to get up from his chair.
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I think the UTI has kicked his anxieties into high gear, and if I remember rightly, his anxieties tend to make him non-compliant. Which becomes a vicious spiral. Does he have any PRN meds for his anxieties?
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@Charlesh47…no he doesn’t. He’s not exhibiting any signs of anxiety, I.e no stuttering or panic attack symptoms. The carers have just turned up now thankfully.
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@Charlesh47, I think 
you may have jinxed things. He’s just had a couple of vacant episodes with the carer!!! As if things couldn’t get any more complicated!
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That’s really significant Make sure the carer reports it on her visit records.
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Sorry guys but I need to have a rant so bear with. So this afternoon Phil said he felt like he needed to go to the loo so he sat on the commode but couldn’t go, fair enough. The evening carer has just come and gone. She wheeled him down to the bedroom on the commode as he was tired which again is fair enough as he did manage to walk on his frame to the kitchen earlier and make a sarnie which was amazing then walk back. I asked if he was going to clean his teeth as they passed the bathroom but he didn’t do this. I then asked if he would try to use the commode before he got into bed. I left him with the carer but she said he refused to try to use it. He has a nappy on so I’ve now said to him that if he does go in the middle of the night he will have to stay in the nappy until the morning mainly because I would struggle on my own to get him cleaned up and sorted out. I’m also really angry that he doesn’t even spare a thought for what it will be like for me if he releases his bowels in the night.
Sorry guys, rant over for now though I can’t promise there won’t be more!!
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@Sue24 Hugs from me too. You really do have my sympathy. My husband does not seem to have an idea of hygiene either and will wear a dirty pad despite prompting. Rant away here we do understand.
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