Husband undiagnosed BP or BPD

My husband has been struggling for 18 months now with a mental health impairment, it took months to get him under the care of a physchiatrist, and even after 4-5 months he’s still undiagnosed and his medication balance changes with every appointment. Just like other people’s stories when he’s down he can say the most hurtful things, I feel I’m quite a strong person but it does have an effect. I feel like I’m grieving for the person he was, and although I do believe he’ll get back there it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel sometimes. I work FT and have 2 boys, and due to his condition he’s not working and has run up horrendous debts. Sometimes the pressure of it all seems overwhelming. The longer it goes on, the more friends and family seem to fall by the wayside making both of us more and more isolated. Everyone’s “here if you need me” but sometimes just a love you or hope your ok message would be welcome. Nobody wants to be the person that only ever calls with bad news. Just need a bit of strength from people who actually get it without judgement or blame.

Hi Debbie, Sorry to hear about your husband’s ill health and how it’s affecting you.
It must be extremely difficult caring for your husband and working full time.
How old are your boys?
Encourage your husband to do the things he enjoys doing eg listening to music, watching the football matches on tv, going for walks, playing games with sons etc.
Let him know you still care about him and you’re there for him.
It is important that your husband has people to talk to. Has he any friends he could call?