Daughter very unwell mentally and I am trying to bear the pain she could also have cancer

Feeing scared, Daughter battling strong psychosis today, she has been in pain in her back and I went to take her out for the day from her flat where she lives alone with visits from mental health team. She keeps crying as she knows on some level she is imagining a lot of things. She thinks she and I are under attack for example. I noticed she has a v unwell looking piece of skin on her back. Looks like skin cancer. I am so scared as getting her to see GP nearly impossible. Using all my strength to stay calm and find thoughts that steady me.
Hard not to feel low and weary of sadness.
I will have to stay open to more pain and be there for her.

Oh Ula, I feel for you both. Must be so frightening for her and for you to see her this way. I hope you and the MH team between you can help her calm and settle and get her to see the GP. Also, that it’s a less serious skin condition. I shall pray for you both.

((((hugs))) ula.
So sad to hear you are going through this
I wonder if your daughter would let you take a photo of her back so you can at least show the doctor? I know she is going through an episode so probably not very helpful to you.

Hi Ula

I hope & pray you can get a doctors appointment soon, and that the skin issue on her back is benign& easily treatable. Sending hugs, and sitting virtually with you, in empathy. :people_hugging:

Hi Ula. I’m guessing that the pain in her back is making your daughter’s mental health worse, and that the skin patch is probably the source of the pain. I think @Pet66’s idea of a photograph may be the only way forward at this point, at least to get the GP to take the next steps. The difficulty will be to get your daughter to comply with any treatment options.

Wishing you the strength you need right now. Remember we’re here to listen.

Sending hugs Ula - I do feel for you and your daughter. I agree with Pet that a photograph might be an option.

Please let us know how things go and and yes, we are here for you and will support you in any way we can.

Thank you thank you thank you.
Your messages have helped me and us.
I took a photo, sent it to GP.
Got things started,
Next step support her to go to GP.
It is one of the hardest qualities of being a carer, needing others to help cared for person and struggling how to make it happen.


Daughter has a GP appointment in ten days,

I feel hopeful she will attend.

Her psychosis no worse,

Things are as good as they can be.

It’s the little but big things- e.g.

Each time I brush my teeth, I wish for her teeth to be okay.

I feel sadness but I try to hold my feelings lightly.

Not always possible.

I know we are not alone - I read just how many carers make enormous effort to keep carees well, receiving medical attention and safe.

Be careful out there




that’s good re GP appointment and that her psychosis is no worse.

Totally understand your worry, I hope you manage to find moments of peace in your day.


Thinking of you Ula and glad that your daughter at least has an appointment.

It must be terrifying for you both. Yes, the photo is the way forward. Make sure she takes it to the GP as there has been a delay in getting to see him it may have already changed slightly.

If the GP is concerned he will arrange a very quick referral but reassure your daughter that this is completely normal.

You are in my prayers. Hugs.

Thanks Melly , Thara, Penny and Helena
Good plan about having photo.
Daughter not aware of our grave concerns
We need to reduce the way her psychosis can hurt and affect her by only adding to her worry thoughts if essential.
We will wait to hear what medical people say and then reassure and comfort as needed.
Helena I know from your posts you are very careful how you approach things and your posts have helped me.
Big hug to you all.

Hugs back to you Ula. Your love for your daughter shines through your posts. Thinking of you.

A post was merged into an existing topic: Roll Call JULY 2023

Hi all, momentous effort
Daughter been to GP care worker went with her,
Her choice which is fair enough
Some more tests to do,
Daughter said GP was kind and daughter not been unsettled by visit,
So I am glad as I do not want her to have more worry thoughts than she already has.
I seem to have accepted once again, I can only do my best in each situation,
Hard day at work today, feel a bit low as client did not like my approach
Trying to be thick skinned but not really like that,
I started digging a small pond,
I think I needed the distraction
Warmly, Ula, sorry for big posting gap
I have been on the edge with hoping she would go to GP x

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Hi Ula
I’m sure you’re tired of all the worry & efforts to make this happen. A big step forward. Work is probably harder when you have so much happening personally, and you’re tired. I hope you can get some restful sleep and can do something kind for yourself too. Sending warm wishes, and empathy.

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Ula, good daughter has been to GP. Understandably hard to not have gone with her, but it’s too all your credit that she wants to be independent and she knows you and her Dad are there when needed.

Sorry work hard, I agree with Victoria, the stress you are under will reduce your resilience m,

The pond project sounds a welcome distraction - perhaps you could post us some progress or finished project pics.

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I am glad to hear from you Ula as have been wondering how things are going. I am so glad your daughter did at least see the GP. I totally understand it was hard not to be with her.

Thinking of you right now. Try to look after yourself.

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Helena, Melly, Victoria
I have been reading roll call which has been a comfort,
I feel like the reality of caring with one’s heart but not feeling I can do more is a v out of control hard place.
I will take your kind wise words and be kind to myself

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