Something for myself

I will cut a very long story short, We were sitting pretty, All the kids had left home, We both worked full time, BANG! Hubby gets a dvt behind the knee [2015] and because he is diabetic after 7 mths in hospital he is discharged home being a double below knee amputee with heart failure and short term memory loss and eye problems, He had a long history of heart problems, On benefits what a eye opener! We got by as you do, Life becomes one be round of hospital app etc, I became isolated having given up work, not eating not sleeping we could quite happly choked each other and smiled while we did it lol Fast forward dec 18 BLANG! night before we are moving into our HA disabled bungalow hubby has another heart attack, I move have everything sorted for when he comes home 5 days later having had yet more stents, Life is settled, BANG April 19 yet another heart attack, This time it’s a big one, We are told there is nothing more they are happy to do he is too high risk so will treat now with meds only, Hubby had a Angina attack on thursday, back to hospital but ok and home the same day, Hubby went off on a 5 day fishing trip on sunday all by himself which he does most weeks, But i feel like ive stepped back in time with the worry of it all, I need to do something for me, So that i can get out instead of watching him when he is home or waiting for the phone to ring when he is away, Thats because hubby has silent heart attacks which are painless!! I heard about The carers assessment, I applied online and someone rang me, I would like to join a gym as my health is not so good or i would like to go to a night class to learn something new maybe Spanish, I need help with a tall hedge in the garden and someone to do the odd jobs that didn’t get done when we moved in, I’d love just to get out for a whole day on a coach trip, I love hubby dearly but i need to do something for me, Any advice please? i would be really grateful, many thanks

Hi Belinda.

Extremely quiet on here for the XX day running.

Care ?

Anyone mentioned CHC / NHS Continuing Healthcare … offered / applied for / refused ?

Maybe in the frame here … if you don’t ask , you don’t get ?

Main thread :

NOT the easiest of reads despite all attempts to make it so !

Carers assessment ?

Carer's Assessment - Advice and help for Carers | Age UK

A sticking plaster for a gaping wound ?

Sounds par for the course … CUK and a few others may have different views.

Benefits / housing ( Social … succession problem ? ) … you name it , we’ll tackle it !

Have a facial or massage, because although you feel you want to do this, that, or the other, your brain needs to slow down, and your body catch up, with everything that has happened.

If you asked me what I’d do with a free day, in the house, my answer, without a moment’s hesitation, would be to SEW! My mind is soothed as I do something creative. (My husband walked into the flat where we were living in Western Australia, when I was 21, and said "Oh, it’s Occupational Therapy today then?!) It has been my occupational therapy ever since.

Do you have something like that?

Thank you so much, But facial or massage are not for me because of skin and joint issues, I used to make hand made bracelets for many yrs working from home but now i wish to stop the isolation and get back outside in the big world x

Thank you, I will set to reading the above now, no one ever tells you anything, I have been looking after my husband for 4yrs now, Iv’e never had a day out or been on holiday, thats the way life goes lol but i’l take any help i can now, many thanks

Make sure the coffee’s strong … you’ll need it.

Imagine that thread BEFORE I colour coded it ?

( Still waiting for the first reader to say … " Sorry Chris , I’m colour blind ! " )

How about running bracelet making with courses?
I know helping at a charity is good for some, but not for me!
Maybe see if there is a volunteer bureau in your area. Every year the council hold a Volunteers Day when every organiser looking for a volunteer has a stand?
Do you belong to your local community centre?
This time of year helpers are always needed for summer playschemes and groups - you would need a CRB check of course.

Cycling! I’ve ridden a bike all my life. I had to stop for a number of years due to pain and have now returned to it due to health reasons again; damned if I do damned if I don’t. But has been an incredible way to escape the ‘monotony’. Even if it’s a cycle down to the local shops…its wind in my hair and feeling ‘free’ to go where I please, as I don’t drive.

Indoors for an escape of mind I try origami. I learnt a few procedures that enables me to just kind of turn on ‘auto pilot’ and not think of current situation. Just focus on folding paper.

Another indoors escape can be colouring. Is adult colouring books. Which is lovely to not have to ‘think’ of anything just colour.

Folding is another escape. Few things on you tube that show how to fold towels, socks, underwear, trousers, teeshirts.

Just something to shift the focus from current to something completely different.

Wordsearch or crosswords are good if you like puzzles.

what I have come to enjoy is continuing to have a small bunch of cheap flowers in a pint glass on the window sill. lovely.

Besides the usual ‘chores’ that keep me busy.

Hi Belinda
If hubby can have 5 days to himself, then by jove, so can you! Goose and gander and all that!

I’d look at dance/exercise/yoga classes at a level suitable to you. Regular, you would soon get talking to the other participants. For example I enjoy a class in our village hall where the exercise is varied and gentle but the other women are amazing. The chat over coffee afterwards is wide ranging, and its only over time we’ve found most of us are either carers or past carers. It’s a great way to destress and does me good physically too.

Is it just money stopping you going out?