Hi all,
Thought i would update you all.
I have a job! Full time and it starts monday.
I have got carers in for my wife but we have to have another assessment and another financial one. After this we have decided to go down the direct payments route with a couple of carers lined up. Fall alarm sorted but not moved to a bungalow yet, still waiting.
Having fun with trying to contact all the relevant benefit people with change of circumstances but thats the government for you.
I am looking forward to putting me first and starting work after 8years. Am I being selfish? For a change, yes.
Looking forward to not being skint either!
I will still be caring, just not 24/7.

Thank you for all the support.

No, absolutely NOT selfish. Your wife should enjoy a happier husband, not to mention the extra money. It’s so important to be a true spouse, rather than carer and caree. I hope it all goes well for both of you.

Nikki, that’s fantastic news. You sound so positive. I agree with BB, no not selfish, you are equally important as your caree and a happy carer means a happy caree. If finances allow, consider a cleaner or someone to help with the ironing … or whatever would ease the pressure on you and give you a bit more time off.


Thank you, I will be looking into a cleaner/house hold helper once we have moved into a bungalow. No point now as i hate this house and cant be bothered with it.
Things have definitely improved and hopefully will continue to do so.
Will update as and when xx

Hi all further update…
I have been at work for 4 weeks and can honestly say its great. I am so much happier. I am still caring when at home but I no longer feel like walking away from my wife and life.
We are being reassessed for care as we need some extra at lunch time (LA suggested meals on wheels but that just wont work). Going to have a another financial assessment too so that will be interesting.
Once they sort how much care then going to go down the direct payments route i think. Need consistency and not getting that now.
Still havent moved, no available suitable properties so nearly a year of wife sleeping in a recliner chair.
Will update again soon, things are definitely looking up xx

Thanks for the update, it’s always nice to hear results of suggestions etc.
Glad it’s going well. Amazing how much the old self-esteem goes up with the recognition from paid work