Hi
Not been in here a while , just read some of my old posts , going back as far as 2012.
Same old battles, just different offcialdom .
im 31 years caring for my husband who had 3 CVA strokes in 1994 , age 30 years old. we had 3 small children at the time.
Hes also faced and survived , with my diligence and tenacity , 2 heart attacks , multiple blood clots both lungs, both legs one in the right coronary artery , he has 11 stents ‘full metal jacket’ on that RCA now , Urosepsis twice , central post stroke pain syndrome (still ongoing ) inoperable arthritic right knee, ( he declined new knee as he felt he was too young, now hes too high risk for one) on 3 lots of anticoagulants, bleeds daily , pain daily, cant read , non tech , very very ADD on top of his cognitive issues , stuck in the past , very negative about everything and on the decline , physically, big time.
He further blockage in heart and in March under went his 9th angioplasy.
last year November time , my MH went down. Im no longer employed , i have widespread Fibromyalgia, multiple arthritic joints, including spine , sleep apena , high BP , insomina , depression and anxiety and now obese, limiting my mobility and seizing up. Im now 62 going on 92.
As I rwachwd to Action for Carers , i referred to social care for a Carers Assessment in November.
That finally , happened yesterday , only it didnt happen .
My OH is anti authority , stubborn, proud and will not engage .
Yesterday the lady told me , she couldnt do a Carers Assessment without him present , and he must have an Assessment first.
Guess what , OH was in a good mood yesterday and feeling very compliant , and agreed to “an assessment” . He masked his pain , went back to his traumatic childhood, returned the time of the strokes which happened abroad , in front of our young children , non of which he will remember as he was unconscious, and two years after the event I suffered PTSD . So she asked deep probing questions , for 3 and half hours! He enjoyed the chat!
Then turned to me when OH excused himself , asked about my health , said shell see if he can have a Direct Payment for when Im away in October , and he can pay friends to call in on him. She didnt feel he needed carers coming . I agreed , because he wouldnt let them in any way.
i feel exhausted , almost betrayed in a way , was this a carers assessment ? I feel ambushed , once again , invisible and once again left to it. I almost want to dissappear .
what was the point of that? I have emailed Action for Carers and thanked them for the referral and explained what happened above .
Im done .