Please can you advise

Good Morning.I am writing this in the hope that we can have advice.My Hubby has terminal cancer of prostate bones and lung & is severely sighted in both eyes & deaf.I am his primary carer & we are lucky to have a care Agency twice a day.We have a regular carer who is from Bulgaria & there are other carers who are also from other countries. My Husband is a shy person when it comes to having a shower.Also next weekend this regular carer is away for the weekend. So yesterday the regular carer was introducing a new carer a young male carer,who hardly knows our situation & I am very annoyed when they know that my Husband is shy.Also he finds the level of English isn’t good at all.Should we look at other care agency s? I feel that this agency simply don’t like us at all.I have found another possible agency who are English led.Please can you advise us? Now dreading this next weekend.As this situation does my head in with carers that can’t even sit & talk to me about how I am feeling.regards Amanda h

Hi Amandah,
This is just my personal opinion, there are some real positives with the current care agency: they mainly send always the same regular care worker, the only reason this care worker isn’t coming is because she is on holiday. The agency have worked out a plan in advance to cover your hubby’s care. They arranged for the cover care worker to shadow the regular care worker to see what is required and how best to deliver the care.

Recently, due to financial difficulties within our care agency, it looked llike I we would have to change agencies for S, (he is looked after by a care worker between me leaving for work and his transport arriving,) he is very vulnerable. Several agencies were approached, they said they could provide regular carers, at the right time and that new care workers would be introduced to him in advance … but when it came down to it, they couldn’t deliver and backed out.

If you are generally happy with agency, I would stick with the one you are using. Transferring from one to another, is hassle and there may be a gap in care.


Hi Thanks for your reply.Over a period of months,I have asked if we can have an English speaking carer.As Hubby is deaf & severely sighted in both eyes, but they don’t seem to listen. I also get the feeling that we are not liked at all.I gave a carers Christmas party to them,as being a carer myself.And yes I must admit that my Hubby had a likeness for one of the carers,who is also Romanian.Shes left the care company. But now it’s there punishment to put a male carer in place without asking us first.They have stabbed us in our backs & I feel our trust has been lost with this company altogether.Hugh my hubby is shy with new people.So ok I am now looking elsewhere.regards Amanda h

I hope you find a care agency that meets your requirements.


It’s time your husband stopped being so old fashioned.
How does he think we women feel being poked and prodded, externally AND internally when we are expecting/having a baby?
He needs to be grateful that he is getting ANY carer at all, but they do need to be able to communicate with him to do their jobs properly.
Has he learned any sign language to help. My son with LD learned Makaton, a simple form of British Sign Language, when he was little. Although he is now nearly 40, and doesn’t need it any more, it’s really useful in the family being able to sign a few basic things.
When we’ve been in the arena with our steam roller at a show, we can still tell each other basic stuff like dinner’s ready, do you want a drink, etc.

BB - I actually think it’s the other way round for Amanda’s husband! He liked having the Romanian girl, but is more anxious about the replacement boy…

Amanda - I suspect the root problem is they are chronically short staffed. The very fact they have to employ non-UK folk shows how short they must be. I doubt it is unique to that agency either (unless they are a truly rubbish agency to work for!), as the UK is chronically short of people who want to work as care-workers…it’s going to be ‘hand to mouth’ whatever agency you opt for I suspect, unfortunately. It’s a ‘sellers market’ in that users (us!) have to ‘take what we’re given’ mostly…

is it just the change in personnel you and your husband don’t like, or the actual people they are sending??? Will the original lady be returning when she has come back from holiday??

Hello Thanks for the reply s I think we do need a fresh start.I am not prepared to be spoken behind my back then our regular carer is sent a message to give to us.Yes the regular carer will be back.But whatever we do all gets back to the Agency.My Hubby has always been a shy person.What annoys me is the level of lack of English. We will give this chap a chance,but I am on the look out for a smaller agency who understand our needs a little more.I will have a word with my care manager. Regards Amanda h.

I guess the ‘new guys’ are ‘learning on us’! It’s hard for them, too, thrust into a situation where they know they don’t have sufficient English yet, but expected to ‘get on with it’ by their agency (who, as you say, is not ensuring their English is up to scratch).

Just a thought, but it can really help to ‘build bridges’ if YOU look up some phrases in whatever language is his mother tongue! Just a basic ‘Good morning’ and ‘Thank you’ can help.

Plus of course, actively ‘teaching’ them better English (in a nice way!) during their visits.

I know that is not your job, but in the situation, being ‘more human’ does help get better ‘service’ so to speak.

The carers themselves aren’t responsible for the way the agency is managed, and may well be as frustrated by it as you are. Presumalyb they HAVE to ‘report back’ …it’s part of their responsibility.

And remember, too, the wretched ‘jargon’ of the care industry is another linguistic challenvge for them to learn…and udnersand all the ‘subtexts’ of how English is used. eg, ‘a challenging client’ can ‘translate’ as ‘bloody difficult’! etc etc. These are ‘subtle things’ for foreigners to grasp, and they may be tactless without realising it.

None of the above is a ‘solution’ but if you are ‘stuck’ with it, maybe it can help just a tad??

Is he receiving Continuing Healthcare? You should have the option of a Personal Budget so you can arrange your own care.

CHC / NHS Continuing Healthcare ?

Main thread :

Your deaf and partially sighted Husband dislikes the lack of English in his carers?

Can you explain that a little further please? I’m assuming he can’t lip read due to poor sight?

I will be looking into having a couple of agency’s over in the coming weeks,& will hopefully then get something sorted out.Regards Amandah

This time last year I was seeking a change of care agency and a change was made and that is when I discovered that there is very little difference in the way agencies operate. Both agencies have a high turnover of carers.
To be fair to the carers (from both agencies), they were/are quite good at their job, a few bad ones that I requested not to be sent here and the requests have been mostly upheld, it has been on the administration side that both agencies have struggled.

Good luck with your search for a replacement agency, just bear in mind that sometimes it can be a case of better the devil you know, and I hope you find a good one.