New to carers uk, need help/advice

Hi I look after a 66yr old blind man for the past 2 years, everything is ok but for the past few months he makes up stories to which has happened to him when I’m not there, and I’ve found out it’s all been lies I get that he’s just saying it to get attention but there’s no need to make up stories, he lives on his own with his guide dog and I go there 5 days a wk in between my 2 jobs and my family and I do do my best for him.
He got me to buy for him womans clothes which he wears only in the house alone, I’m very open minded and each to their own but when he keeps asking me if I can take him out wearing these clothes I just can’t do that, so is there anyone else n the same situation as me as I just don’t know what to do, and do i confront him about the things that have supposedly have happened to him as I’ve found out the truth, I don’t want to upset him or make things awkward I just don’t know how to go about this.
Thank you :slight_smile:

Hi Sarah
Are you just helping him voluntarily, like as a friend?
In which case just walk away. You dont have to help someone who makes you uncomfortable .
He can access paid or Social services care if he needs it.

One thought - you might possibly ask the GP if there are any support organisations locally for LGBT etc folk. I think what he needs is ‘specialist’ care, if you see what I mean.

It may well be ‘off radar’ but there is bound to be some sort of support organisation for cross-dressers or whatever category he falls into.

I do feel that, open minded as you are, this is getting ‘out of your depth’ and you should back away. He would be much better off with like-minded company.

One good thing about being in a minority of sexual preference or whatever the PC term is these days, they are usually VERY supportive of each other. He would surely feel a lot less isolated if he were in some kind of ‘appropriate community’.

It be extremely difficult for him, being both blind and in a 'specialist minority (again, sorry, don’t know what is PC), and it would be good to think he has ‘found friends’ of similar inclination at least in that respect.

Have you talked about this with your own family? What do they think? I agree with what Mrs A is saying, that you should NOT be in any position, whether professional (if you are employed as a care worker say), or ‘amateur’ (ie, if you are just a friend).