Just joined

Hi everyone.
I have just joined. I am 76, caring for my husband of 88. He has multiple health problems, is rather deaf (refuses to wear his hearing aids), has poor sight, and is getting mentally slower and slower and more confused (just old age I think - nothing more serious). He now has no interest in anything and is very bored and spends a large part of his time asleep. He is very afraid of Covid and refuses to leave the house except for medical appointments, so I am very trapped and am finding this long confinement difficult. I am hoping to find kindred spirits on this site. It is a lonely life

Welcome Celia! You will definitely find kindred spirits on here. All our circumstances are different - some of us care for children or young adults and some of us care for older people. But we will all understand how lonely and isolating it can be and now with covid it is even worse.

Your husband is not alone in not wanting to go out. My SIL is only early 60s and only ever goes to her allotment. Never shops or socialises now. My cousin and her husband in their 70s have not been out since March! It is horrible but if you feel better for getting out in the fresh air then I would make a point of doing so every day.

Take care. X

Hello & welcome Celia

You in the right place for like minded people. Life can be lonely for carers. I also think for more mature carers. I have been a carer for many a year. There are times I feel it was probably better that I was younger. And then some days think I have many years ahead of me. However I made many friends through providing care. Linked up to many organisations. Have learnt how to manoeuvre around the care sector.

It can be quite annoying when caring for someone. Who may not want to work with you. As you husband is 88 I can totally see. If he prefers not to wear his hearing aid. That’s OK if he lives on his own. Not practically helpful when you want to communicate with him. I know a lady who was the same. I then told her I can’t phone you as you can’t hear what I say. So unfortunately you will lose out on things that are happening. As she also had no other means of communication. Eventually but slowly she started to wear her aids. She did try to narrow me down to timed phone calls. Which I stated I couldn’t do. And in the end she started wearing the aids full time.

Celia as you are clearly you husband’s carer. Is your husband getting attendance allowance.

You could sign up for …

If your husband doesn’t want to participate in things. You MUST find/access things that will help you.