Help & advise needed

Good morning. I am struggling with caring for my hubby,who has cancer & also poor sight & hearing loss. We are lucky that carer s come in each day, but I have lost the sight in my eye, & they cant even be allowed to put the Hoover through for us. 3 times a week my hubby has a companionship visit for two hours. ,in that time I usually rest but they will help him water his plants,or do a jigsaw but no way will they wash a floor or even clean his bedroom or shower room. I am not supposed to bend. No wonder I feel like I will. Never get better. .The whole care system needs to be redone. Regards Amanda h

Amanda, when did you last have a Carers Assessment?

Hi ,The last time I had a carers assessment, I did not get that far as I find it too stressful. I have to pay for my own things,although my hubby has no savings. But the care agency simply refuse to help me .They will help hubby ,but not me. I can stew.i am emtional drained at the moment. I will have a word with my case manager from action for carers & see what she suggests

Have you asked SSD for an Independent Advocate?
She should be able to help you go through the Carers Assessment process, which is aimed to identify the support you need in your caring role. i.e. cleaning.


the care workers will only do what is in the care plan, so if its companionship then that’s all they will do.

If you need help with a housework, then you need an assessment to say that, the care workers will only do it if its specified on the care plan. Perhaps instead of carer’s assessment you need a Needs assessment in your own right?

My Mum claims Attendance allowance and uses that to pay for a cleaner and gardener - they come alternate weeks. Is that an option for you/hubby?


Good evening, I think it’s the care agency making there own rules & the local adult social service s. Because they are stopping lunch visits & shopping trips as well for many people. They will help my Hubby but I can go & jump in the pond & sink . I will be 65 in December, & feel utterly exhausted & emotionally drained. Sorry to moan. Best wishes, Amanda h

Your husband will have had a “Needs Assessment” and is helped on the basis of that assessment: if you haven’t had a Needs Assessment then they are not contractually obliged to do anything to help you directly.