My mums rights

I live with my mum but she as carers as well as I work.does she have the right to phone up the care company any day including weekends to find out which carers are on that day?they say we can’t phone at the weekends unless it’s an emergency and they never tell us who s on or introduce us to new carers she can have a random male she s never met coming to do a full body wash in the mornings

I’m pretty sure your mum can ask for females only.

She shouldn’t need to phone. She can ask for a copy of the staff rota. That would give her all the information she needs.

And yes. For intimate personal care, she has every right to insist on a female member of staff.

Dear Janet_2201
Im Kristie an online community host for Carers UK. I hope you will find the answers you need to know on the forum. I hope things will get better for you with the answers.
So welcome to the forum! You are not alone in your caring role i am sure that many on here will understand exactly how you feel and will offer you support. Caring can be very lonely and the pandemic has made caring responsibilities challenging as many carers have been socially restricted and unable to attend social groups etc.
At Carers UK they are running two online weekly meet ups for carers and you can find the information on how to register at Care For A Cuppa:-Online meetups | Carers UK. The second online weekly meet ups for carers is called Share And Learn:-Share and Learn | Carers UK.
There is a telephone number you can ring for Carers UK and the number is 0808 808 7777 and the line is open from Monday to Friday between the hours of 9am-6pm. The email address for Carers UK is (
The advisers provide information and guidance to unpaid carers. This covers:-
-Benefits And Financial Support
-Your Rights As A Carer In The Workplace
-Carers Assessments And How To Get Support In Your Caring Role
-Services Available To Carers And The People You Care For
-How To Complain Effectively And Challenge Decisions
Best Wishes

There is no excuse for them not telling you in advance who is coming especially as you are on the internet. In fact, mum is supposed to be able to choose who support her!

It’s normal practice for women to insist on women carers.

The Se Discrimination Act said that you had the right to a same sex carer for personal care. If the agency were short staffed they should have contacted mum in advance if only a male was available and ask if it was OK. Not doing this shows very little concern for mum’s dignity and privacy.

Hi Janet,

I am fairly new here as well.
I work and also look after my wife. Whilst working we have carers in, they send us a rota every week with the carers names. They try to keep the same staff as much as they can, my wife has dementia and the same happy faces is a big help, they also get to know her.
There is occasionally a male carer which we are both okay with. I am a health care assistant at a hospital, unless a patient is really upset with the thought of me (or any male) washing or helping them then I will do what I can to make life easier.
I imagine you can refuse a male it may just take longer to get somebody in to care for your Mum.
Best wishes and good luck.


Hi thankyou for your replies.The care company won’t accommodate my mum If she only wants female carers.I phone up on a Monday for a list of the carers for the week.But that can change as soon as I put the phone down and they don’t inform us of the change in carers they don’t I form us if they re going to be late and we re only.allowed to phone within office hours.i had another problem last week where my mums recliner wouldn’t social care social workers the care company have all.been mum was stuck in her chair for 15 hours until I managed to get a replacement remote otherwise she would still be sat in her chair now 5 days later.I can’t believe there is nothing in place for emergencies and no support at all.we both feel we have just been left to rot and my mum wishes she wasn’t here anymore.I work full time and spend my free time on the phone trying to sort things I don’t know who else to phone for support the authorities don’t care

Hi thanks for replying I have rang the social workers to get them to sort this out and they ve just let the care company fob em off.I have repeatedly asked to be informed of the carers that are on and to let us know of a change in carers and to inform us if they re going to be late also to be introduced to new carers and not just have randoms turning up.I have also asked for 1 perminant social worker instead of getting random 1 s everytime I just feel.i am banging my head against a brick wall and that none of em actually care.

Talk to the Care Quality Commission.
If the care agency are doing this to mum they will be doing it to others, and they need to stop it!

Hi thanx for reply I did contact CQC they just sent the email to the care company

That’s dreadful. They are supposed to investigate without divulging to the agency who is concerned!!!

If they forwarded your email to the care company, they have breached the General Data Protection Regulations as you did not give them permission to do so. They had no right to use your information in that way as you were seeking their help. They should at least have consulted with you first.

I strongly suggest you contact the Helpline: as the situation is fairly complicated, one way or another, it’s probably best to use the email address: - they can go into more detail that way.

. . . or if you prefer a quick chat on the phone first, phone 0808 808 7777 from Monday to Friday, 9am – 6pm.

Thankyou everyone foe your replies.I have spent an hour on phone to social workers today and my mum as never had a review since she s been having care so they re going to do that as soon as.Also they said I can have the care company doing more than they are at the moment so will be going through all this in the review.Just waiting for occupational health and the incontinance nurse to do their reviews as now.But I will ring that number er as well.thankyou all so much.I have felt completely on my own