My brother is trying to take over now my dad has gone

My brother is trying to take over now that my dad has passed away im still really struggling to deal with things cause I looked after him so much I still cant believe he has gone my brother is dealing with a lot of things to take the pressure off me he reckons but we all know he is after the money and he is doing probate himself but he hasn’t got a clue what he is doing but let him get on with it. I’m really struggling still can’t believe he has gone. I’m back at work next week though as I feel I need to and I’ve been off 3 weeks but need to do it soon as the longer you leave it the harder it gets. Thanks for being here for me everyone xx


Hi Nikki Anne, If I remember rightly, you lived with dad, brother lived elsewhere? If so, tell him to BACK OFF and leave everything in the house as it is and leave you alone! He has NO legal right to touch anything until probate is granted. You are grieving and utterly exhausted and need time and space to recover. Do not be hurried into chucking stuff out. After my husband died I did this in the evening, in tears, with tissues beside me. It was a way of saying goodbye to my old life. Do you know what dad’s will said? This is a forum for former as well as current carers. We are here for you whenever you need a chat.

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That’s right I did and my brother lives in London I’ve told him I’m not being pressured into anything as I’m not ready yet think it’s gonna be hard to go back to work but I feel ready and I’ve got loads of support including lots of friends and everyone on here thank you xxx

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The will is divided between the two of us

I found work a welcome distraction.
Just make sure your boss understands that you may be a bit fragile but will do your best.
Are you eating OK?

I will do work have been really good up to now to be honest I have been eating ok. Sometimes I haven’t been sleeping properly

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Yes, Nikki-Anne, you were right to get back to work. You need to adjust to the new normality. Make sure your boss is aware of the situation. You may need a little time off now and then to attend to matters relating to your bereavement.

I’m back at work tomorrow just hope it goes ok. I’m sure I will have lots of support and maybe it’s what I need to keep occupied. I’ve not heard from my brother he hasn’t rang to see how I am there is no surprise there it just goes to show he don’t care about me lucky enough I have lots of support that I need from my friends xxx

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