Hi, please could somebody help me with any advice. I am my dads registered carer and he brought me up on his own , and we are extremely close. He began having dementia in January this year. He has a bungalow of his own, and my brother who is 45 has been living there for the last 11 years. When my brother got custody of his two young children, they also came and lived in my dads house.
My brother goes to work all day as a carpenter, dad has 2 carers that come by, and my brother then gets his evening meal.
My brother has started to turn on me over the last couple of years but his comments came to a head last Saturday, 16th October, at my dads birthday do.
We are like chalk and cheese but on Saturday, Greg told me to go outside, get my boots on , as he had some thing to say to me. I did as he asked. He then looked me straight in the eye and said " I really dont like you and I dont want you coming around here any more. This is MY home, and if you come round, I am going to make a really uncomfortable atmosphere. You wont like that sort of atmosphere, will you".
He took me so much by suprise, by what he said and I was so, so upset. I couldnt believe how or why he felt like this, as I asked him and he couldnt say. I felt devastated. I waited till dads guests had gone, then burst into tears. He is well aware that I have had mental health issues and have mums depressive thought patterns. He once said to his kids, after his son threatened to beat me up;
“Dont go anywhere near Aunty Sam, shes Mentally ill”.
Please, Im not looking for sympathy. I just couldnt believe it and am worried now that he doesnt want me seeing my dad, and is happy to make life even more difficult.
Please, could someone give me some advice. His two children are now in their 20s and have both verbally abused me, (they call me a fxxxxxx bxxxx, and the son, physically as well. Greg doesnt discipline, never has done. Just watches while leaning on the wall and finds it funny.
How awful for you Samantha. I am thinking maybe you could inform the police and say that you feel scared and threatened and ask them to place this on file in case things escalate.
Do you know if your poor Dad has made a will or sorted out Power of Attorney?
Hi Sam that is so terribly sad. I was trying to think of it from another angle and maybe you could raise it with social services as a safeguarding concern for your father. It is not fair on him that your brother is trying to prevent you from seeing and helping him. If you let them know about the kind of language he and his children have used , it may be possible he is also bullying and abusing your dad. They can at least keep an eye on things and maybe give you some advice.
Hello Samantha
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many thanks
Carers UK
That’s terrible I know how you feel I have a terrible brother he has never done anything like that though I feel for you it’s hard when you care about someone. I have just lost my dad and I’m still having problems with my brother. Maybe you could try and be made an appointee for your dad so he has safeguarding issues in place ring DWP they will advise you hope things get better for you
Hi, this is an old thread, Samantha last visited the forum in 2021.