Jacqueline - I am so sorry to hear this. please focus on this time with your mum, making the very, very most of it all.
As for the house, there will be no rush at all - and don’t let your brother rush you (I do hope he won’t want to). Probate can take months, and you should have enough time to sort out your mum’s estate, get the house valued, and on the market, and allow you to find somewhere else to live as well.
If you really didn’t want to sell the house, could you pay off your brother over the next few decades maybe? At some point you will need to get work, even if not straight away. Would your son want to buy out your brother perhaps??
But don’t feel hassled to sell up…even if your brother is ‘desparate’ for yo uto do so, a co-owner can find it hard to ‘force a sale’ if the other co-owner is reluctant. in the end, it would haveto go to court to force you to sell up, and I would very much hope your brother would never think to do anythjig like that??
And right now, the focus is on YOU - get as much rest as you can, both to heal your own flue etc and to give yourself a break. I hope your mum is getting visits from her son and maybe grandchildren too???
It’s not unusual for a body to feel poleaxed and poorly when in shock, or when stress worsens or stops.
You had been thinking you would have Mum for many more years yet and this latest and sudden downturn was not expected.
Try to be kind to your body and to yourself.
When my caring situation took a sudden turn I felt numb, poorly and foggy for a long time, it was as though it wasn’t real. These feelings do pass, in time
Yes, I know what you mean. I always tried to visit my mum as often as possible, because my brothers couldn’t be bothered, but I was disabled myself at the time and it was such hard work, even with a Blue Badge it might take 20-30 minutes to find a parking space, and Royal Bournemouth Hospital has a quarter mile corridor. Not easy when I’d had a knee replacement 3 weeks previously!