Mum in hospital, dementia and awaiting pacemaker

Hi everyone, this is my first post. Mum had a fall last March and had a blood clot on her brain. She discharged herself from hospital last year and refused any investigation. She subsequently developed vascular dementia and parkinsons disease as a result. My husband and I have been looking after her as she would not accept any help. We did manage to persuade her to accept a home help who is absolutely brilliant who comes two hours a fortnight.
Her dementia has worsened and three weeks ago, my husband and I decided to contact Adult social services as we were struggling to cope.
A fortnight ago, she collapsed and was taken to hospital. She has been very aggressive to the staff, and pulling out canulas, throwing jugs of water and very uncooperative. However, she has a history of aggression towards medical staff unrelated to her dementia. They have managed to find out that her heart beat is very erratic and slow and are going to fit her with a pacemaker on Friday. They are going to give her a general anaesthetic as she will not cooperate.
Reading the topics on this very good forum, it seems that she will not really improve and that a nursing/residential home may be the next step. I suspect that the hospital will try to discharge her quick as they can after the pacemaker is fitted and I would like to be as prepared as I can be. Any help would be really welcome, and thank you so much for having me!

It’s almost certain that they’ll try and discharge her asap, but they must first do a needs assessment and arrange for a care package to be in place - anything else constitutes an “Unsafe Discharge” - remember that phrase and use it if you have to.

Many patients are entitled to up to six weeks free “Reablement Care”, in your Mum’s circumstances I can’t see her not being entitled to that.

Remember also that no-one can be made to care for another person, no matter what their relationship. You need to work out if you want to undertake her care, it’s not something to be taken lightly as it can and will have a huge impact on your own life.

Thankyou Ayjay, that is really useful information and it has helped me. Very many thanks

Make it VERY clear, ideally a letter in her notes, that your caring days are OVER! Mum must have a Needs assessment that does not involve you. Does mum own or rent her home? Claim Attendance Allowance? Claim exemption from Council Tax due to severe mental impairment? Her refusal to be treated brought about the dementia, noe she must face the consequences!

Make contact with the PALS dept in the hospital.

Thankyou so much for all your support. Just waiting for the operation for her pacemaker on Friday, if she makes it through that then we will move on to the next stage. Very many thanks

For some elderly people anaesthetic has very long lasting effects and confusion. Do not let them tell you its OK it will wear off when she is home. Make sure she doesn’t go anywhere until it has worn off. It may not.