Best Interests Meeting Help

Hi Everyone and thank you in advance for your kind help

I would like to have any help/advice/things to think about

Mum has Lewy body dementia and been diagnosed since 2016 and had been visiting day care centre 4 days a week until lockdown.
Has been in decline but took a rapid turn about 3 weeks ago and was hospitalised with dehydration, kidney issues. I am not main carer and because of restrictions was due to visit the week she went into hospital. I thought everything was ok.

Moving on…Mum is in later stages of advanced dementia with dysphagia (swallowing difficulties) is doubly incontinent, cannot feed herself, rarely vocalises. She had been living with a relative in a local authority owned 4th floor maisonette without lift access And therefore no outdoor access.

She has had a 72 hour assessment and both hospital OT and social services are recommending transfer to home with high level of care but also stating that she is eligible for nursing home but we only have one choice and that home has been having cases of Covid and therefore restricts visiting and shuts down visiting. Social services were very adamant that, having known mum for some time, they think she would prefer to be at home and a hospital bed and hoist would be provided. Other relatives have been through this with my Nan a few years ago and they have warned that home is often recommended because it frees up a hospital bed quite quickly.

The relative who also lives with mum works full time and may lose their rights to occupy if mum goes into nursing home. I live 100 miles or 3 hours drive away. I’m feeling blooming exhausted already and not thinking terribly clearly about all the issues so would appreciated any help.

Why would the relative lose the right to live at the flat if mum moves into a home?

Apparently succession is not guaranteed these days. I’m trying to keep out of that area as I feel the relative should be getting absolute confirmation and sort it out but they have a habit of burying head in sand.

They are an adult, they are a child of the tenant but not the tenant, the property is large, they have lived there all of their adult life.

I have no time for head buriers!
Just ask yourself if mum would probably be far better off with a team of carers?