Hi folks. My name is Keith and I am a carer for my partner who suffers with early onset dementia. I am in need of help so that I can get some normality back to my life. Currently, I am talking to TrustOnTap, But not having a lot of luck finding carers local to me. I am in the Bicester area, but carers I seem to be offered are all from Oxford or further afield. My partner is a very amicable sociable 62-year-old and she loves open water swimming, listening to audible, socialising and food. She can be left for short periods, But I think that she needs someone other than me to do things with her. I’m sure that she must be bored stiff having to be with me all day lol. I’m trying to tell myself that we are lucky in many ways, but still, life is a struggle.
Hi Keith and welcome to the Forum. You’ll find we’re a friendly lot 
I care for my husband who is 68 and I am 63. He suffered a minor stroke 2 1/2 years ago and a series of health issues since, including prostate cancer. Has bouts of memory issues and due to problems with his eyes he had laser treatment and now has lost part of peripheral vision. Had to give up driving so feels frustrated at having to totally rely on me for getting out anywhere as mobility is also part compromised.
I am another Audible Addict and I am ashamed to admit how many titles I have in my library. Find it wonderful to lose myself in an audio book when cooking, driving, walking the dog (that is my ME time!)
On here you only give what personal info you are happy to share, but may I ask a few questions which will help me and others comment on things which may be of help?
Have you had a Carer’s Assessment? Does your partner claim Attendance Allowance, and if so, you Carer’s Allowance? Have you got discount on Council Tax which may be due depending on how severe the dementia is. Others are better versed on Benefits than me and I have no doubt they will chip in.
Are you registered with yours and partner’s GP as a Carer? This can start to open up more help. If you haven’t already done so, I suggest contacting your local Carer’s Support Service - check Local Council website Carer’s section which should have contact info, or google it - and get a Carer’s Assessment. This focusses on YOU and your needs which can again help in getting pointers to support available to you.
You are not alone in finding life a struggle. Lots of us on here say the same and we support each other and share knowledge and experiences. You’ll find lots of others will see your post and respond through the day.
Unfortunately, I am in South Glos, not far from Bristol and Bath so don’t have much knowledge of what might be available in your area.
Best wishes.
I’m afraid I can’t answer your question. I’m very concerned that people in your situation may be unaware of the benefits they are entitled to. Is your wife claiming PIP? Is she claiming exemption from Council Tax? Has she been given a Needs Assessment, and you, a Carers Assessment from Social Services?
Welcome from me too. Do you have a local
‘Support for Carers’? If so they may be a good place to contact with regard to what is available locally. I know that my local branch has meetings for Carers although sadly it is not easy for me to get. They may be able to suggest a way forward? I have a telephone befriender who calls once a week. Often these have been Carers themselves and may be able to offer their thoughts on what might be available for your wife.
I agree that you should work on ‘getting your life back’ and also getting your wife used to having other people involved in her care rather than just you. I can well understand that life is a struggle.
Roll Call is a way to share the ups and downs of caring and even share a giggle or two sometimes. No judgement. I care for my 85 year old medically non compliant husband. He has not been diagnosed with dementia and did very well at the memory test last May so got discharged but I am convinced he has Frototemporal Dementia and the scan did suggest the atrophy of that part of the brain was more advanced than would have been expected at his age.
Heya. Welcome. It might be a idea to see if you can apply for benefits in order to start with. Also feel free to take a look at our share and learn activity sessions.
Keith, have you thought about advertising locally for an appropriate carer?