I know!! But I need to get that across to him.
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@AnimalLover my husband was medically unwell which is now severe depression. He ‘needed’ me here and I gave in at first. I am now drawing that line and doing what I want. I provide all he needs and go out. He cries and sobs, hanging onto me and it is hard but I need to get out from the pressure.
If you do not do it the resentment you feel will be over-powering and you will be ill. It is really hard but know you have this support where so many of us are in it, been there, getting through it, you know you are entitled to draw boundaries.
He will be OK, just needs to accept you have a life, sending hugs
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@Tiredanne Utterly and totally agree with your comments. x
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You are absolutely right, Tiredanne. I have to work up the courage to do that. Hugs to you too!
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Just read this in the middle of a similar situation, the constant needs and not doing any of the exercise they need to do. I get exasperated and angry, having tried for years to help gently. You have to do the things you enjoy or you will not be yourself I am trying to get out once a week, difficult but worth it, when we have a small break we can be more understanding of those we care about. We need to be well to take care of their needs.
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It gives something new to think about and talk about.
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@Elisemig glad you are getting out. My husband is not eating now, but I fill the cupboards and fridge with food and cook a meal every day. If he refuses then I just accept it, hard to see him looking ill. Every other day he does eat a little of what I make but I stopped trying to cajole him. Sending you hugs
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I feel for you, thinking up tempting things to eat can be hard. I decided to joke that he deserved respect for eating my terrible cooking all these years, in an attempt to get him to eat, just to please me. Soups and stews seem to be helping, lighter than sandwiches, easy to eat/ drink. Hope you can find time for yourself. Hugs
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Hi. My husband had a blood test the other day and today the surgery rang and told him to make an appointment. This will be in early June. These things scare me!
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@AnimalLover….hopefully because the appointment isn’t until early June it won’t be serious. I’ve heard they can’t give confirmation all ok over the phone and have to make appointments to confirm this.
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I don’t like the receptionist at my surgery telling me I need statins, that is NOT the role of a receptionist. However I know that I could see the blood results myself via the NHS app.
I could see a spike in my results, and looking at the date knew why. It was the effect of some other medication that always makes me feel rough! So I’m not on them any more.
I am super sensitive to medication, if possible I’ll avoid it and modify what I eat.
So have a look online for results.
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Good idea. It’s his account, though, not mine.
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Would he not allow you to see the results, or is he too anxious to look at all?
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He would. I’ll suggest it tomorrow. Thanks.
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When you have the results, there are some good explanations on the internet telling you what they mean.
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He doesn’t want to know. Sigh.
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@AnimalLover Cyber hugs. He is an adult and you cannot make him. You have all my sympathy as I am concerned about the red patch on my husband’s thigh not getting any better (or worse to be fair). I really do think he needs to use the cream the pharmacist suggested properly for a few days then see the GP if no improvement. But he wont. So all I can say to you is ‘disengage’. Hard I know as you sound very empathic and compassionate but your survival and ‘quality of life’ matter too. We can only prompt…
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You are absolutely right. He shoots down everything I suggest. Past caring!
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I’d be tempted to tell him that if he is rejecting the help you offer, as an expression of your love for him, you might as well leave. Whilst he has the right to endless self pity, you too have a right to choose the life YOU want too!
I know a number of women this applied to, who all died before their husbands so were never “free”.
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He looked up the blood results. Elevated triggers but still in range as far as I, in my ignorance, can see.
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