My husband suffers from severe combat related p.t.s.d. I’ve been his full time carer and have been for 7 yrs. We live alone and I don’t drive. 14 weeks ago I lost my dad to dementia he moved into care during the pandemic so I only got to see him twice in 12mths. My husband is currently going through a really bad episode. Is it normal to admit that I’m really struggling!!
Yes, stop trying to be Superwoman and start yelling “Help”!
I would suggest that learning to drive would really help you feel more independent.
Hi & welcome Kelly
Condolences for the loss of your Dad. Which must be double hard given he had dementia and your limited access to seeing him.
Sorry to read you husband has is own challenges.
It’s possible you could benefit from some bereavement counselling. Which would cover your loss of your Dad and your life with your husband. It’s a double bereavement as I’m sure you had hopes and dreams when you married. Those dreams have properly changed and it’s talking through how to manage future expectations.
Admitting when we are struggling is a powerful thing. You are acknowledging you need support. This is an important first step. You then can take control on how best to deal with your feelings.
I note you are not currently driving as you have mentioned this would you like to drive. As if you have a carers assessment with your LA you can some times apply for funding for driving lessons. This might give you a outlet )another focus) but as your husbands full time carer. You may need support for him while you learn to drive. Alternately, there are some charities who also provide in certain circumstances funding for lessons.
https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice/practical-support/getting-care-and-support/carers-assessment
Has your husband had a needs assessment
https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice/practical-support/getting-care-and-support/needs-assessment
There should also be a carers group in your area.
https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice/get-support/local-support
I just wanted to say that last year I learned to drive & passed my test at the first attempt. I was 53.
I did it because my husband’s disability is deteriorating & he is struggling sometimes with driving. His consultants are almost 100 miles away & the practicalities of getting there by train just don’t bear thinking about.
I won’t deny it was hard but I did it. You can do it.