Hi I am Judie and am new to this. About 2 years ago my husband became ill with PTSD and I have been his full time carer since then. It’s been a very stressful time as since then my husband has had to take early retirement. This has meant a move to another place and having to make friends again which is made harder with COVID 19

Being a carer is exhausting. Just doing the physical stuff is tiring. Give emotional support and just being available limits life.

Thankfully I have family nearby who are willing to support is

Hi Judith,
welcome to the forum.

It sounds like you have experienced a lot of life changes recently.
Good that you have family close by.

Does your husband receive any outside support?

I hope you are able to find time to make friends and follow your interests as we gradual come out of lockdown.


Hi Melly 1
Thank you for your reply. I have finally persuaded my husband to speak to our new GP to access help. We are waiting for a call now and the longer we are waiting the more anxious he is getting.
I am annoyed because he had an email from a family member giving her opinion of what triggered the PTSD and basically says the psychotherapist is wrong! Not helpful. He is quite upset about it.

There always seems to be something to deal with.

Hi Judith,
I’m concerned that you say “the physical stuff is tiring” and “exhausting”.

It sounds like you need lots more help than you are currently receiving?
I was seriously disabled in a car accident three months to the day after my husband died. I was left living on my own with half an acre garden, 4 bedroom house, a business to run, a disabled housebound mum 6 miles away, and a son with severe learning difficulties 20 miles away who had just moved from residential care into supported living which wasn’t working well!!

To start with after I was widowed I fell headlong into the trap of trying to do what the two of us had always done. Impossible. Even more impossible when I needed to use a walking stick!!

Some jobs I gave up altogether. Ironing and gardening. My once pretty garden had every single border that I’d made from scratch flattened. Every plant had a story. They went via Freecycle. Anything I didn’t need has gradually gone from the house. Who needs husband’s Granny’s china cabinet and a coronation mug collection. It’s been a really tough process, but so worth it. I wish we’d done it years ago. Now I have a large patio with flowers where I can sit when the weather is nice without looking at jobs.
Can you get a cleaner to do the domestic work?
Do you have a dishwasher, a tumble dryer?