New member

Hello everyone.
I’ve never used a forum before. Forgive me if I get the etiquette wrong!
I have been caring for my husband for 5 years. He suffered a mysterious cognitive illness, aged 66, becoming confused and helpless. He was in hospital for 3 months without a diagnosis but eventually found to have lymphoma in the blood vessels of his brain, causing stroke-like problems. They cured the cancer but the damage was done.
All this happened at a time when we were both caring for his mother with dementia and a few months after I retired. Sometimes I feel hard done-by, but I know there are many much worse off than me. We manage reasonably well with social services and sometimes family support. This doesn’t stop the isolation and the feeling of missing out on life. Does anyone else feel like this? Generally, I’m a positive and capable person! :slight_smile:

Hi Jean and welcome,

No need for any special etiquette - just respond to any threads that take your interest and ask/ share / rant as appropriate.

Yes a lot feel like you.


Welcome to the forum. My life changed forever when my son was brain damaged at birth 41 years ago. I found my husband, just 58, dead in bed. I had a head on smash caused by a boy racer 3 months later and was disabled for years. I’ve lost so many people I loved. I try to keep happy as I only have one life and try to make it the best I can. I try to take care of myself, I have my hair cut, coloured and permed, and a home beautician gives me a session every month. This is MY time, much easier to arrange now I’m a part time carer now, because of my own health issues. You need a bit of a life of your own, the virus has sadly meant I’ve had to cancel my 2 weeks in Crete this year. Fortunately I love dressmaking to help me unwind. Can you find an hour to do something for yourself?

Thanks Bowlingbun. Your positivity is amazing. We have to handle what life doles out to us however we can, don’t we? I like sewing too, and I’ve recently started again. I do enjoy the garden too. Both things are good to combine with being there for my husband, so that helps. I go to a botanical painting class when I can and I really appreciate the companionship that gives me. It’s just restarted after lockdown- so relieved! Our little adopted dog is a great comfort and a little walk round the park each day sets me up. So there’s lots to be positive about. :slight_smile:

And thanks too to Melly1!

Strangely, I’ve discovered that I’m so much more laid back during lockdown, although frustrated I can’t go on my annual Greek holiday with friends. I’ve even lost half a stone without trying too hard this month, now the lightest I’ve been in two years. The reason is simple, no meetings to attend with Social Services, no stupid phone calls from them either. I have what is basically a good diet, but reach for the biscuits or cakes whenever I’m frustrated!
I’m also selling stuff I don’t need on ebay, which is making more space and a bit of money too.