Hi new to this forum, my husband has practically stopped his medication for bipolar, he’s taking an extremely small amount, he’s been quite stressed from work through December which has led him to now be in a depressed episode. He’s shut me out and is talking about moving out, I have told him I don’t want him to do this but he’s in denial that he’s unwell, we have 6 children together and I’m 22 weeks pregnant. I’ve been calm I’ve told him I love him and it’s not what I want but he’s already been to the bank about a loan to help him move out! Please any advice ?
Do you have any contact with MIND UK.
or Bipolar UK
how was Christmas has the time brought on extra pressures.
What ages are you children?
Hi Christmas was fine in the sense I’d saved for buying gifts etc, he was worried about having time off and losing money as he’s self employed but his mum helped out with that, our children are 21,16,14,10,8 and 2.
I have no contact with anything myself as I can normally manage fine, I have joined the bipolar UK online community thing on their website but I get no feed back, he goes to a mind group once a month.
As your are carer but may feel you are not. Believe me you are. You need to join a carer group in your area. That covers mental health issues. It’s seems your older children could also do with support. There are also young carers groups. How do the children deal with the dad’s behaviour/s?
Thank you I will look into joining a group, to be honest the children are unaware of the illness, except my 21 year old as my husband did the same thing about 6 years ago, wanted to move out and stayed with a relative for about a week, I explained to the now 21 year old then about it but the other 5 I just said he was working away and they were none the wiser. This time they are older so I have said to the 16 year old about her dad feeling very down, but the rest haven’t noticed because he’s naturally a quiet person and he’s not a hands on dad, and to be honest he is fine interacting with them, he happily talks to them he even joked about a little with the older ones it’s just me that has been pushed away. My main worry is he goes through with getting a loan and moving out, because then I am going to have to say something and what would I say? Also another major factor is my husband would then be alone and that can’t be good 
Just a quick reply, but how about suggesting he stays with a relative for a bit instead of moving out like last time. Melly1
Hi melly, thanks for replying, I have suggested this but he won’t he said he’s got to do it properly this time, he won’t listen to reason
I think to be honest…
I would not worry about him as he will only have himself. I think you need to think more about how are you going to manage.
All the children to look after and financially support the home.
Don’t you think it’s all a bit selfish of your husband!
Let him(support the decision) look for alternative accommodation. But ask him how he will financially and emotionally support his family. This puts the ball in his court.
He has said he will be there to help with the children and financially, although I’m fully aware if he goes through with it I’d have to claim benefits as there’s no way he can run 2 homes, I can see why you may think it’s selfish but people who suffer with bipolar tend to push the people they love away and can want to leave because they feel they are a burden 
Have you every been on benefits. Being on benefits with six/seven children. The benefit system is so much more reduced and complicated than ever. Is not something to lightly contemplate.
Seconded.
Children … benefits now limited to 2.
Potential bedroom tax ?
Not for the faint hearted … even at the best of times !
You need legal advice FAST. Especially about separating out your finances before he takes out a loan that you might be jointly liable for!
Katrina - this does sound worrying. Part of me thinks let him go, be on his own for a few days. But if he’s depressed this might make him feel worse. Alternatively if you remind him of his responsibilities as a husband and father that might make him feel it’s too much to cope with.
This is horrible for you. I really hope this is just a phase he’s going through.
Has he said why he wants to go?? What is the reason? If he just wants a bit of quiet ‘me’ time then that is understandable. My guess is that after a few days of solitude he’d want to return to his family.
Or does he just need some TLC?
Please don’t try to cope with this alone. How about contacting the relative he stayed with previously and talk to her about him.