My husband has seeked help since 2018 for his depression and anxiety. We have had a few bad years and he just doesnt seem to be improving. He has tried so many meds, currently on venlafaxin and mertazapine. He doesnt open up much but is very angry, irritable and cannot cope a lot of the time.
He saw a psychiatrist in 2019 and have asked to to back but they discuss him in the team meetings then dont see him and say nothing more they can do. He was suppose to start telephone therapy in Sept 2020 but he delayed it due to our puppy dying and the woman never got back in contact with him. Previously we have funded therapy for a certain period but hes just not improving.
For myself, I am a midwife and work part time. I do everything in the house. Currently I work split nights as my husband is regularly sleepy during the day and needs a nap, he cannot cope with the kids for long. We have a puppy as thought it was a good idea to get him more exercise and excuse to leave the house as he didnt really go out only food shopping.
Anyway my current concerns:
Work- have I got grounds for a flexi contract based on husbands mental health? I havent really got anyone else to look after the kids and although it is exhausting doing everything, doing split nights means I can be there for everyone I dont need to worry. I have a new manager and the old one didnt tell the new one (long story) so I’m at risk of being put into days and my nights are together, but I get so embarrassed talking about it, people dont understand that he Is at home, doesnt work, but cant look after the kids for 12.5 hours.
Husband in general- how can the GP just say 'carry on’when he is so depressed/anxious, irritable, had to call the police on the weekend as he threatened to kill himself and went out. Previous july 2020 he took an overdose of meds. Its just draining for me but I dont know what else to do.
Kids- my eldest I’m pretty sure is autistic and I need to get her an assessment. (High functioning, more asperges) but she is difficult to manage, my youngest is 5 and has so many sensory issues and separation anxiety from me, always has been and still is high needs. I am SO exhausted from trying to do everything and be the best mum, and look after the house work (I am a bit OTT with the cleaning) any words of wisdom for one broken mum? My memory is so bad and has been for a while I’m not sure if it’s the constant lack of sleep or just that I’ve got so much in my I cannot think of the words I need. Even writing this the youngest is having a tantrum that shes hungry.