Looking for solidarity and advice

I’m currently trying to support my partner through a period of anxiety and depression. To explain my situation, we have just moved towns and now live close to my family and his but away from all my friends. we have a 2 year old and I am 17 weeks pregnant. he doesn’t want me to tell my family so am struggling to explain away the situation, and why we cant do certain things.

He has suffered before but not for about 6 years, he has started a business with his dad but currently cant work, can hardly get out of bed at the moment. His dad keeps asking for info on the work and business side of things despite knowing the situation, my boyfriend has just started sertraline, think we are about 12 days in. but it has made him worse, maybe the anxiety is slightly better but everything else is worse. can anyone give me hope that this might work?

I was also just admitted to hospital for a night for a kidney infection and pleaded to go home as he was almost incapable of looking after our 2 year old. think this has knocked him back too.

I am trying my hardest to be supportive but some days I just want to scream. my little boy keeps saying daddy is sad and it breaks my heart. I am working full time, looking after everything to do with house and cooking and bills etc, we have no money. He has had therapy but just talking therapy and doesn’t seem to be working plus we cant afford it much longer. he went through a manic phase after a glandular fever diagnosis earlier in the year so not sure if this is linked, he hasn’t been able to see or speak to a GP in person yet due to Covid. and cant access any mental health support. to be honest its really affecting my mental health.

I suppose I am just looking for some hope really and somebody going through something similar.

I’ve hand glandular fever, it left me really, really lethargic for ages afterwards.
He and his dad need to start talking to each other properly, why keep so distant?
A new baby should be a joyous time of life, you need to share your anxiety with his family too.
Was the business venture ever a good idea?
Being self employed is so much more difficult than being employed. We ran a business for 20 years together.

Dear Natalie

I wanted to wish you a warm welcome to the forum and to highlight some of the options for connecting with fellow carers and for getting support from Carers UK should you need it.

I’m not sure if you are aware Natalie but we are currently running a series of online weekly meet ups for carers to get together and chat informally. People say they’ve found it really helpful and supportive and it’s nice to be able to take a little bit of time for yourself. There’s no pressure to share any more than you’re comfortable with. Join up details are here:

We are also now running a weekly Share and Learn sessions, where we run a series of fun and relaxed online sessions where visiting speakers who share tips and skills on a range of topics - please have a look at the link and see if one grabs your attention.

Do join if you’d like to, we’ve had a lot of new carers join the sessions recently and it’s a great way to meet other carers.
There is also Carers UK’s helpline should you need advice or support - Our Telephone Helpline is available on 0808 808 7777 from Monday to Friday, 9am – 6pm or you can contact us by email (advice@carersuk.org)

with best wishes

Hi & welcome Natalie

In order to support your partner you need to have your own support. You are carrying a lot of responsibility for your family. Who is helping with your son when your are working. As you have just moved I guess you are not involved in any local parent/child groups. Have you every contacted Mind UK. https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/helplines/

Have your spoken to your employer. Employers have a duty of care speak to your Human Resources dept.