I’m Andy, 61, looking after and caring for my wife with multiple illnesses including atrial fibrillation, heart failure, under active thyroid,breast cancer, peripheral neuropathy and clinical depression.
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@Andythegardner….Hi, welcome to the forum. I’m sure you’ll find the forum a great place to chat with others. I’m glad you’ve reached out as I know how lonely and scary caring can be. I’m 56 and cared for my husband who has numerous health conditions and severe mobility issues. This forum helped me at a time when I was very low. Everyone on here is great. Do you have support to help you care for your wife?
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Hi @Andythegardner Welcome to the forum. I’m glad you reached out to connect with us here.
You’re not alone, you’ll find a lot of empathetic souls here with a lot of different experiences.
I left work to help my mum care for my Dad until he passed in 2020 and I care for my Mum. Dad had Atrial fibrillation, congestive heart failure with subrenal aortic aneuryism…after a major hospitalisation he had vascular dementia and then bladder cancer..Dad suffered from some depression as part of the dementia…
Feel free to share as much or as little as you wish. No one judges anyone here, because sometimes we need to vent and release all the heartache and tension.
Let us know how we can offer support or if you’re looking for insights on anything in particular.
Do you have friends/family support? I hope you’re able to get some respite because it sounds like a very full on caring situation. Peripheral neuropathy can be tricky with mobility and poor circulation.
I hope your wife is able to get around ok?
best wishes
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Welcome to the forum, I how you find it friendly and supportive.
It sounds like your wife has a complex combination of health conditions for you to manage.
Caring can be a lonely business and only carers really ‘get it’.
@Andythegardner welcome to the forum. I have found it a real place of support when I want to seek advice or just vent the anger and frustration I feel.
I think the main thing is that you are not alone, even though it feels like it when you are a carer
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Hi Andy, welcome to the forum.
Are you getting any help with your wife’s care?
Are you both claiming all the benefits which you are entitled to?
It’s very difficult to have any sort of social life as a carer, yet it’s what most of us need. Just some time to relax, be ourselves and have time to chat about something other than health issues!
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Hi Sue,
Thank you for the reply , the answer to your question about support is no, I , unfortunately to not have any support with my wife and after five years of caring it does sometimes get you down. Thank you for reaching out though , it was very kind of you😀
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Thank you for the reply Victoria. The answer to your question about support is no, I , unfortunately do not have any support with my wife’s care and you’re absolutely right about peripheral neuropathy it is very restrictive on her mobility which has caused problems on its own. Also after five years of caring is does start to wear you down after a while. Thank you once again for reaching out😀
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My mother died almost a year ago while my dads was in hospital and I had to tell him. He received poor hospital care and subsequently moved into a nursing home (4 minutes from me)He is hoisted in and out of bed, chair and shower. His cognition is declining and I am not sure how to manage this despite reading lots of information because everyone is different right? I have an older sister who lives on the south coast (I live in Newcastle Under Lyme) and we don’t get along at all so feel I have no support as in I have nobody to discuss stuff with.
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@Daughterdramas Hello! I’m glad you’ve managed to figure out how to use the forum
@Melly1 or @susieq could you put our messages into a new thread? Mucho gracias!! 
My heartfelt condolences for the loss of your Mother. It sounds like it was a traumatic time for you, with your Dad in hospital and having to tell him. Ugghh.
Yep, definitely everyone is different. My Dad had vascular dementia on top of a lot of other things and no matter how much I read it was hard to tell what was him, what was the dementia and what was the impact of the health conditions he had. It’s all stressful and tiring and SO many other emotions. So I’m glad you feel you can share with us. You’re not alone! There’s many of us here, with lots of different experiences so feel free to share, ask Qs or vent as much or as little as you want!
I’m sorry you and your sister don’t get on.
You can discuss anything here! We also share a lot of dark humour…because, well sometimes laughing crying with bad jokes together is a heck of a lot better than crying alone.
Sending some hugs - even if we don’t know each other, we all need a warm hug now and then!
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Hi. On this Forum you are by no means alone. There are many people who have gone through or are going through similar situations to you and can empathise, not just sympathise.
My Dad lived with us for a short while and was diagnosed by our GP as having dementia. A short while later we had a massive falling out and he moved to live with my ex-sister in law while my brother took over his finances etc from me. (Wasting thousands on solicitors fees for new Will and LPA - and making mistakes which had to be paid to be corrected!) He was older brother and ‘always knew best’… The Ex-S-i-L then got her GP to dispute the diagnosis and sent an email round saying “WE managed to pass the tests with no problems”. Later I discovered she had kept prompting him which the GP ignored! It wasn’t long before he had to go into a Care Home and he went downhill and came out with ridiculous stories and claims. The rest of the family will not talk to me as they seem to have decided I was to blame for everything - despite them even admitting he’d “lost the plot” as some of them described it. SO I understand how family tensions can build.
@Victoria_1806 has commented about the support available on here by sharing (what YOU feel comfortable with) and I can confirm that we all support one another and I dont think one of us has not been on the receiving end of support and help from others - as well as giving back.
My husband suffered a stroke and has since had a cascade of health issues and now the prostate cancer seems to be coming back. It’s just ne thing after another, but a little light-hearted chat on here and the odd “odd” joke helps bring my mood up.
Best to you.
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