I’m a newbie here, although I have been caring for over a year now.

I now live with my grandparents to care for them; my grandmother has Vascular Dementia having recovered from a stroke and bowel cancer. My grandfather has Alzheimers. It’s a fairly complicated caring arrangement as I have two young children (one with a health condition) who live with me and my grandparents, although my husband lives in the house we have moved from (about 4 hours drive away) due to keeping his job and the pennies coming in. He visits as much as possible.

My mother helps too, but her partner has Dementia with Lewy Bodies who she primarily cares for too. I care for him as well when necessary.

In general I’m ok; there is always lots of work to do, including maintenance of the falling down property. We’re on a crazy adventure in life at the moment. I think my friends think I’m a bit mad, but it’s what you do for family right?

Looking for some advice to get my grandfather to have a bath! I wonder if I should post in the Dementia area about this though.

Nice to be here!

Hi Tumbler … as in dice ?

Welcome to the forum … extremely quiet on here as I type so … initially … you’re stuck with me.

Numerous concerns leap out from your posting … I’ll let others deal with them.

For my part , links to outside help … needed like yesterday ?

NEEDS ASSESSMENT ( through your LA ) :

The Care Needs Assessment Explained | Age UK

CARERS ASSESSMENT ( Through your LA again ) :

Carer's assessment | Carers UK

( Word to the wise … waiting times … a real post code lottery … do not delay ! )

CHC / NHS Continuing Healthcare … ever mentioned / offered / considered / apply for but rejected ?


ONLINE BENEFITS CALCULATOR … for a financial m.o.t. … all out there currently being claimed ?


COUNCIL TAX … discount ? … disregard ?


WILLS … upto date ?

HOUSING … any grants available for facities to aid the less abled … others call them disabled ?

( Your LA web site a good starting point. )

AGE UK … on their radar … almost essential for ALL senior citizens nowadays ?

Enough to keep you going until the calvary arrives ?

Hi Chris - Tumbler as in backflips in a type of dance!

I’ll look through your list, but yes to lots of those.

Mum’s managed carer’s assessments, I’ve re-applied…

I’ve got Carer’s Allowance. I don’t think I’m entitled to anything else, but will check.

Got Council Tax exemption for my grandparents.

Power of Attorney in place/Wills up to date. Thank you.

A good start but … only the beginning ?

Hi Tumbler, I wrote you a long post that disappeared.

You need to get your family back to normal, living together again.

I’m not suggesting you abandon the grandparents, just do things differently. Start by arranging for them to each have a Needs Assessment from Social Services.

Also check that they are getting all the benefits they are entitled to - Attendance Allowance for each of them, and the exemption from Council Tax for gran.