Hello everyone

Hi everyone,
I care for my Dad who has myriad health problems. I know I’ve only just joined, but I’m going to jump right in with a question, if that’s ok.

Does anyone else have problems with the person they’re caring for refusing all medical intervention when it’s needed? My Dad is prone to falls and he injures himself quite often (bruises and little cuts) and I really want him to get checked by a medical professional, but he refuses to let me call an ambulance or Doctor or Nurse. (Dad is housebound) For example, he is developing what I think is an abscess on his hand, but still, he won’t let me get the doctor in. I feel like I am not doing a very good of caring. He doesn’t let me look after him properly.

Hi Jay Jay,

Can you tell us a bit more about dad? How old is he? How long has he been disabled?
What are his major health problems?
Is he claiming any disability benefits.

Do you live with him? Does he own, or rent the house?

My mum kept saying she “didn’t want to make a fuss” that “I can manage” but I was told that under no circumstances should I try to pick her up if she fell, she needed to be checked over by the ambulance staff.

Another time she was bed bound, while I was in hospital having major surgery. It turned out that she’d been in bed for a week, WITH A BROKEN LEG!

If dad needs you to care for him, then it must be your decision about whether or not YOU feel YOU need help with him, whatever he says.

It’s about capacity to make an informed decision. Do you feel it’s pride and/or old age upbringing etc. Don’t make a fuss stiff upper lip or a bad experience/s.

If your father has capacity it his choice. If you think he lacks capacity. You can ask for a safe guarding(vulnerable adult) social service assessment.

You could try to speak with his G.P.

Hello Everyone,

Thanks for your replies Bowling Bun and Sunny Disposition. I’m sorry I haven’t logged on to the forum for a while. Don’t want you to think I was ignoring your helpful suggestions.

Dad was taken to hospital by ambulance the early hours of 12th January with suspected sepsis, which turned out to be a severe chest infection and cellulitis in his leg.

He was so poorly that I just ignored his wishes and called an ambulance. I felt terrible for going against his wishes, but he desperately needed medical intervention. Anyway, I am liaising with the GP but not getting very far, as “the GP is away and not back until next week”.

A head CT scan they did at the hospital found that he had “several old infarcts” and “periventricular small vessel disease” I am trying to find out if this appertains to some sort of dementia, but the hospital medics were not very helpful. If it is dementia then I can go down the “lacks capacity route”.

It’s all held up until I can speak to the GP.

I suggest that you ring the Alzheimer’s Society and get their interpretation.
I don’t suppose dad every signed a Power of Attorney?

Have the hospital done a Mental Capacity Check for him?
Cellulitis is potentially very serious and needs immediate attention, clearly he’s not making good decisions.

It’s all very well the medical profession hiding behind patient confidentiality, but on the other hand it is YOU, not them, who have to deal with the every day situation.

Does dad live alone?

“several old infarcts”:- an infarct is “_a small localized area of dead tissue resulting from failure of blood supply.”
periventricular small vessel disease:- Periventricular refers to the where, which is around the Cerebral Ventricles

SVD (small vessel disease) is a frequent finding on CT and MRI scans of elderly people and is related to vascular risk factors and cognitive and motor impairment, ultimately leading to dementia or parkinsonism in some.

I’m only Doctor Google, not a real Doctor.