I’ve just joined too. Different circumstances - sole carer for my 92 year old mother which I know is nothing compared with what other carers have to deal with but I’m at the end of my tether too.
It’s just been mother and me for the last 8 years but I became ill last May and they can’t find out what’s wrong, some friends think it’s probably stress related. I’ve tried CBT too but just can’t be bothered with it… is that a sign of depression? Mercifully I’ve avoided panic attacks so far although I am not enjoying the sleeping badly with nightmares! Nor the shingles I’ve just had.
I’ve signed up a) to offload and b) to read other carers stories as an object lesson to myself as to how much worse it could be! and hopefully stop feeling sorry for myself.
And it’s working already - you clearly have more to cope with than me.
Hi Mrs. G, welcome to the forum. Tell us a bit more about mum, do you live with her? Own or rented property?
Why don’t you have time off from caring???
Hiya Mrs G, Caring is tough and you’re not on your own here. You are a sole carer for your mother and that in itself is a huge responsibility. We as carers tend to do more than we are supposed to and it has effects no matter what type of caring responsibilities we have. One very important thing is taking regular breaks from caring for either a few hours or short breaks of a few nights and a combination of both is best throughout the year. I have been caring for 34 yrs now and I know that’s the way to avoid burn-out. To be honest, it sounds like you need to take a break. if you can I would do so and as soon as possible…go with a friend maybe. Or perhaps just go on your own just to take a bit of time-out from your situation.
Do you get any help from the services?
I totally agree you need ‘Time Out’ and a chance to do things that you enjoy. Can your mother be left alone? Do you get any kind of support from Social Services.
Caring is emotionally and physically draining - I have been a Carer since Jan 2013 officially but in reality much longer for my very difficult 80 year old husband. You do sound very drained and you do need to take care of yourself.
- you clearly have more to cope with than me.