Feeling lost and unwell

Hi all. So it is me again. I know I am pretty annoying, but I’ve seriously just had enough. I’m sick of everything I am going through. I’m feeling so poorly all the damn time, yet I feel like no one is helping me. There’s just too many hurdles. The extra care people at the council have just messed everything up.

Honestly Hull City Council are just a massive joke, and they just seem to prioritise anyone but disabled elder people for housing. There’s currently a seven week wait just to get a case worker. Yeah, put all the criminals first, put everyone else first, put people who have done wrong first. Why is there not a service for disabled people.

Why is this not a safeguarding issue?

I’ve just started another round of therapy, and the therapist suggested I had severe OCD which is worse than I imagined. Medication is not working whatsoever despite a top up. It’s almost as if medication doesn’t cure the difficulties faced by homelessness. Everyone just tells you to ‘be strong’ ‘be brave’. I can’t be either anymore. It’s slowly killing me. Do I have to do something for people to care?

My colleague also called my name to ask me to do a task for her, and I just got so scared I panicked and nearly threw up. In my head I was expecting her to say so much worse, instead she told me “I looked white.” When she asked me the question. It was only to do a simple amendment to a file.

This is what it is doing to me. My collegues also decided they wanted to get chippy chips for dinner, and I didn’t want to let on how bad I felt and did it anyway only getting a small portion. Well after I just threw up.

I literally can’t eat anything, and have lost kilograms in weeks. Doctors can’t do anymore for me.

No calls back

Everyone at work decided to

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You’re not annoying. This is a space to vent!

Right, it’s obscene. I know how thinly their budgets are stretched, but people’s wellbeing and even their lives are on the line here.

Are you under the care of the CMHT, and your local branch of MIND?

It is so difficult to hold down a job with this amount of care work and mental health issues. I once lost a job because I was so exhausted I fell asleep at my desk. Some people have the good fortune to be working for large companies which have ways for HR to support them through this, but I wasn’t.

Go on?

Thanks . I am with the nhs therapy services in the area. The OCD thing is something I didn’t realise until something caught my eye. I realised that the responses I have to things that have happened or things I think may happen are totally different to everyone else. Like it’s normal to experience worry about all sorts of things, but with me it goes beyond and my reactions/thoughts can go abit further.

Like I know it’s happening and I have to constantly battle between rational and irrational thought.

To put it in layman’s terms “if I think it will happen, I get panicked and scared, my mind wonders and goes crazy, it tries to find solutions to problems that don’t exist.

If I know it’s going to happen, there is that moment of panic (as anyone would), but I’m able to deal with it better with a plan.”

The irrational takes over because that’s more scary. I can’t remember who said it but there’s a theory that suggests the simplest answer is always the right one. So for me it’s easier to deal with.

As for mums issues the MP has backed out and been very useless. I’m extremely exhausted from helping her.

We know more now, whilst it helps, we shouldn’t be in this situation.

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