My mum has dementia which she just recently started having illusions saying she can see children in the house and she always hiding belongings keys handbag kettles toster etc then she cant remember hiding things then says my dads stolen them she not violent thank God my dad is a as very bad hart and mobility health problems too which started last January and mums dementia started about 3 years ago I care for them both and I also work 30 hours a week and now both parents are getting worse I had time off of work and got a warning from employer last week its so hard to cope with it all on my own my had brain scan and got diagnosed with dementia by the gp about 10 months ago she just refuses any medication and won’t see any doctors and I have tried so hard to get her on meds but she won’t have it and that anything’s wrong with her I miss my old mum so much its unreal but over the last few months me and my mum have begun a new best friend relationship which I am very happy about. Would be grateful for any advice …

Has there been any needs assessments carried out by Social Service. It’s clear you are unable to cope alone. So services need to be considered to assist.

Hallucinations are unfortunately common…


Are you able to get now some outside help while waiting for a needs assessment or would finances be difficult.

Due to the time of year. It’s going to be difficult to get SS to act quickly. Only if there is a safety risk to either mum or/and dad.

Have to had a carers assessment. This can also be carried out at the same time as a needs assessment.

keep posting here there is a mine field of knowledge and experience.

Hello and welcome!

Have you had a needs assessment or not? Your local adult social services team can do one with you. They should also do a financial assessment at the same time as well. Only then you will be able to request additional support for her. It may be that a properly run care home is more suitable instead.