Parent with dementia doesn't like live in care

My mother 90 was diagnosed with dementia and is partially sighted and has live in carers. She is not happy with this and says she can look after herself. She cannot cook, dress properly or even turn over channels on tv. However my sister and i visit every day to give carer time off and to keep mum company and we take her out several times a week.

She is not happy with this situation - says she looks after carers! and they do nothing for her. She thinks they are students and she has to look after them. She would really like to live with one of us but my sister works and although I’m retired I’m have a daughter who is disabled and needs my time also and I need to be available if there are emergencies in her life and just to visit and give her support.

Mum is at her worst when carers change over. Any ideas to make things easier as she can only remember my phone no and I get calls all morning until I see her.

Mum is beyond feeling happy about anything. It’s either live in carers or residential care.
Put your answer phone on and leave it on. I know it sounds horrible but mum needs to accept that you cannot be permanently available to her.

Hi Sue

Sorry to hear you’re having trouble with your Mum’s care at the moment. I’ve moved your post to our Dementia section so members with specific experience with this can offer advice and support to you.
Best wishes