Caring for my mother with Alzheimer

Hi everybody, New to the forum. I care for my elderly mother diagnosed with Alzheimer. It is becoming very hard to care as her illness is progressing. Unsure what to do as my mother is not eligible for social care and I cannot afford adequate care for her.

What do I do? I am really at a loss…

Heya. Tell us a bit more.

Are you sure mum doesn’t qualify for social care? Can she claim Attendance Allowance?


Welcome to the forums. I recommend contacting social services in order to start the whole process. You are in my prayers. Best wishes. It is a rather good idea in addition to make some brief summary notes on your care home options here. Visit a few different local care homes in the meantime. Please feel free to contact me if you require more help.

Try to take a good look around the entire place in question too. Use your common sense to make a informed decision about the care home as well. In any case get their contact details. Write that down on a blank notepad for future reference. Most care homes employ decent staff. Bear that in mind. Stay positive and remain calm. Also research home care companies. Keep us updated.

It is a question of your mother’s finances - you yourself should not contribute at all, nor is your financial situation relevant to her assessment.

Hi Dalila, and welcome to the forum. My Mum had dementia for some years before she died last Christmas. It’s hard work.

You said your mother wasn’t eligible for social care - when were you told this, and was it during or after an assessment by a social worker?

Welcome to the forum
I hope my message reaches you as have been logged out.
I’m so sorry to hear your Mother is suffering with Alzheimer’s.
My late husband suffered strokes , vascular dementia and other health issues. I understand it’s very painful to watch.
I would advise you contact the social worker again and ask for another assessment. You do not have to pay for care for your Mother.
Do you have power of attorney?


If your Mum is of State Pension age then the very least she should be entitled to is Attendance Allowance.
These links will give you more information - the first is Carers UK factsheet

and this second one is the .Gov website

It’s not a massive amount - but, as they say, every little helps !

Yes, it is hard caring for someone with dementia - the Alzheimer’s Society website has some excellent advice and factsheets that you will find useful (I certainly did when caring for my Mum)

Although she lived in her own home I looked after my Mum for 14 years. She was diagnosed with Alzheimers when she was 92 and went into a lovely care home when she was 93. I visited every other day.

She passed away aged nearly 97.

As others have said, she is probably entitled to Attendance Allowance and you to Carers Allowance. They can’t make you pay for her care so don’t worry about that.

Does your Mum own her own home?

Hi @Dalila ,

Caring for someone with Alzheimer’s is difficult, particularly with no outside support.

Why is your mother not eligible for social care? Has she been abroad for a long time or is it because she has savings?

Dalia, you were obviously feeling in need of support when you posted, and we’ve reached out to you. It would be nice to have a response from you.

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