Having read through some of the posts on the forum, I realise I have it easier than the majority of people on here. Dad is 86, lives nearby, doesn’t drive anymore, I don’t drive, so he is virtually housebound. He is doing well despite high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, macular degeneration, Atrial Fibrillation/Tachycardia and osteoarthritis in knees/unsteady on his feet. Ordering/collecting Dad’s meds, shopping, admin and attending medical appointments with Dad are already more than enough due to my own health issues - Fibromyalgia and osteoarthritis in my spine, for which I go to hydrotherapy classes.
I have TRIED to fit in Dad’s gardening (paved last year to simplify things) and hoovering, cleaning bathrooms, dusting but never have the time/energy to do these extra tasks.
After 5 years of this I am exhausted, depressed and overwhelmed,
My sister never calls him and rarely visits, apart from helping to fetch him out of hospital after having his pacemaker fitted and for a selfie with Dad on Facebook at birthday/Christmas etc. Whilst visiting today to deliver her Father’s Day gift, my sister pointed out some of the minor things in dad’s home and garden that needed doing, in addition to things I haven’t gotten around to.
Later I received a text from my sister offering to come once a fortnight to do Dad’s cleaning. On one hand, this is exactly what I need, on the other hand, by accepting the offer of help, I could well be making life worse for myself by her being around more often to point out all the areas where I’m falling short in looking after dad. Am I being overly guilt-ridden despite doing my best? Do I accept my sister’s offer of help?
Having spoken to a couple of people in real life who are/were carers for an elderly parent I know it is fairly typical that everything gets left to one child but on the other hand, it can be ‘easier’ to do it alone as it prevents argument over how things are done.
Sorry this is so long, but any thoughts/discussion on this topic would be appreciated.