Hello everyone i hope all is well ? I just need some advice i have a carer’s assessment next wednesday. I cannot tell you how happy and relieved I have been waiting since march. But i’m fully aware how social services are overwhelmed. I am conflicted i want a break from caring, or i want to stop caring but i’m scared. i don’t have options or family support. My mental health is pretty bad and I drink a lot of alcohol. There’s been times i’ve been so desparate i drink hand sanitizer when i’m out of money. I know it’s bad but i’m so unhappy and don’t know what to do.I have no idea what to say. How honest i should be. I’m afraid of continuing with life and i’m afraid for walking away. I just need some advice. Thank you i apologise for the depressing tone.
I am not the best person to give advice on Carers Assessments as despite caring officially since Jan 2013 unofficially way before then I have never had one. From reading posts on the Forum so much depends on the person who does the assessment and how things are ‘interpreted’. Do you have a local Support for Carers? If so then maybe phone them and ask them for advice on how to get the best out of the assessment. Also what do YOU want? It might be an idea to write down a few things that would make caring for you more bearable? Maybe write down specific things that you find hard or mega stressful.
Hopefully others will be along to offer better advice but I did not want you to feel alone or ignored. I do understand the drinking to a degree as it is a way of dealing with stress. Maybe counselling might be an option and maybe you could access this via the Carers Assessment?
@Melina_1806a
It sounds as if the toll of caring has become too great and detrimental to your health.
Tell the social worker what you’ve told us.
I think you should also say you can no longer provide care because of the affect on your own health.
The cogs of social care turn slowly so also give them a date from when you will no longer provide care from, to make them realise you are serious.
As money is tight, could you go away on this date to stay with a friend or family member?
Actually this is great advice and I’m really appreciative and humbled by your support. I will definitely be doing what you suggested. Inneed to write a list iboften become flustered and nervous and tendbto forget things. Thank you, be well and take care.
Best of luck Melina - let us know how it goes and I really hope you can get something in place. You must stress the mental toll caring is taking of you and you DO have a right to a life of your own.
You are absolutely right. Thank you for responding and being supportive. It’s taken a massive toll. I will tell the social worker everything, normally I hold back or forget but not this time.
I know you and many others have said the same thing. But it terrified me no longer caring. Way more than continuing living like this.
I’m honestly afraid. I don’t know if I can walk away. I don’t have anyone to stay with. Maybe my nan might let me stay. But she’ll be upset if I walk away.
Thank you very much for your kindness and help. I really do appreciate your help. I will tell them how it’s effecting my mental health. Thank you, and I will update 