I phoned adult social services this morning this was my first chance since Tuesday night as I’ve had my granddaughter here . On Tuesday night I went to put the bin out my granddaughter stands at the door to watch me I’d just got to the bin and she started screaming I got to the door my dad was behind her with his frame I shouted at him to go inside my granddaughter was shaking and crying I calmed her down and asked what happened he’d come behind her telling her to get out and pushed her with his frame his version was she’d shouted his name ( she doesn’t know his name she calls him granddad) and he’s come to see what she wanted I don’t believe him earlier he’d told her to shut up or he’d smack her face in so this morning I called social services and said I can’t cope with this it’s one thing for him to be nasty to me but he isn’t doing it to a 4 year old she won’t go near him she’s clutching my clothes I feel awful that I didn’t do anything before she’s making an urgent referral and said someone would get back to me today I’m so upset and just keep crying he’s asleep in the chair because he’s been up all night calling me all the horrible names he can think of and wanting to get a bus at 2 o’clock this morning to get some plastic
Well done Tracey, you’ve done what you had to do. There will be others here who know how to help you through what comes next (I don’t know enough to do that) but you’ve taken that first step.
Good for you. You’ve done the right thing even if it feels horrible. Your granddaughter comes first. She is only a child.
Sending you a big hug xx
There comes a time when enough is enough and you have to get your priorities right. Dad has gone past the point of no recall now and thank goodness for your good sense in recognising that before something unforgivable happens.
Stick to your decision and protect that lovely little lass.
Stick to your guns here. You do not have to suffer alone. Well done! You have done the right thing. Continue being there for your grandchild. She comes first. If he is too much, consider a care home. You are right. Why carry on like this?
Can you afford a care home or not? There are good ones out there. Start by taking a look at this website http://www.carehome.co.uk. Lots of good information on there including lists of questions to ask etc. Visit all the local ones to get a behind the scenes look. But the first thing to do is to call the council on Monday morning to ask for a needs evaluation pronto.
A social worker rang this afternoon you’ve got Carers coming in 3 times a day I told him we have no one can he wash and dress himself no I do it can he cook no I do it someone will come to assess us on Monday I really hope they do he said the doctors should have been involved but I think because I’ve not been nagging anyone they’ve just left us to get on with it I’m not going to struggle on and say I can do it I’m saying no to everything it’s like when I was at work my doctor told me to retire with ill health and I carried on for 3 more years this time I have to give in cos all I can see is her face
Insist. He needs help and so do you.
Thara regarding council needs evaluation what is it ?is this as well as adult social services I haven’t got a clue who to call
This is a needs asssessment that is typically done at the start to figure out what would be best. Normally your local council will have a social care team or department in charge of needs assessments. Call your local council on Monday to start the process. They should also do a monetary assessment as well to figure out finances etc.
Good luck! Keep us updated and remember to get a copy of the assessment report too for peace of mind as well. Feel free to contact me privately on here if you have any other questions.
Thank you I will call them on Monday
Ring them tomorrow morning, speak to the “Duty Officer” and request “Emergency Respite” as he is a threat and needs either respite or admission to hospital - with a view to assessing his mental state.
Sadly, caring is like sitting on a volcano, something will ultimately erupt that changes everything. You’ve done all you can, time for him to have 24/7 care.