About to stop Caring and need advice

Hello all.

Ive been the live in carer for four years for a 64 year old man left only able to use one side after a stroke and dependent on me for everything except using a fork or cup or phone, hes become very angry and bitter and i dont want to do it anymore. He’s an old friend so ive been getting Carers allowance and income support for it, I’m moving out within a month and was wondering if there is any help, grants or benefits available for ex carers? I’m slightly worried about the time it might take to secure a job given my life has been on hold for four years.

Any help would be appreciated, thanks.

Hi Adam, welcome to the forum.
Housing must be your top priority, looking to the future. Sadly, benefits will stop almost immediately, so start planning asap!

However, can you tell us a bit more about your caree.? What is wrong with him, how old is he?
What support is he getting from Social Services?
Who will care for him if you don’t?

Hi Adam, Not sure what your profession is or was , but if you are struggling to find employment have you considered care work either domicillary or residential. There is a definite shortage of good male compasionate carers out there. and you would be snapped up.

My son has learning difficulties due to brain damage, can’t read, write or do any maths, but is fit and well and loves doing men’s stuff. He misses his dad so much, and would love to have a male carer rather than a female carer. He has no behavioural problems, just needs someone to go with him swimming, to steam rallies, shopping to help him with his money, etc. You would be a perfect domiciliary support worker.

I have found somewhere to live already at a reduced rent and I have enough part time jobs (Bar work, Dog running, cleaning etc) lined up to easily cover rent and food for a few weeks whilst I work to get into a kitchen job. would income support stop immediately as well?

The man I look after can only use left hand and move left leg, he can stand but has no balance, hes turned very bitter about what he can’t do but he wont put the effort into physio because it’s too hard and painful so hes just getting heavier and weaker and has been taking everything out on me for too long, i cant cope with it anymore. He’ll be moving in with his sister and she’ll hire carers that he likes, I’m not going til he’s sorted anyway… he was a friend once.

I would consider that part time maybe but I don’t have any qualifications to care I just almost fell into this during a troubled point in my life.

I really want to be a chef and at the moment have definitely had my fill of being responsible for another human being; my mental health has really suffered of late, but I’d never rule anything out

You have been a good friend to this man, well done. Now is the time for you to move on.
As you have somewhere to live lined up, I would strongly suggest that you set a date for moving out, and tell his sister, otherwise it could drift on.

Thank you for that. All of my friends think the same and I know it’s time to look after myself.

I’m pretty clueless about benefits; was homeless and worked cash in hand for years. would I be entitled to income support after I leave?


An online benefits calculator … what’s currently available out there for you.

If no NI contribtions paid over the last few years ( Beyond those credited when claiming carers allowance ), claiming benefits could prove to be " Fun.^

I would consider that part time maybe but I don’t have any qualifications to care I just almost fell into this during a troubled point in my life.

You have the best qualification there is for the job-life experience and already have the tshirt.

Hello Adam

As well as the supportive suggestions from other members, I hope you’ll find this page on Carers UK’s website helpful. As others have said, you will have developed some valuable skills in your caring role which can be applied to many paid working roles.