Hello, my name is Sacha. I am 31 years old and a carer for my dad. I just really need somewhere to go to have a rant and destress sometimes as it is very overwhelming sometimes!!! send help please xxxxx
sorry, i dont think my last post was detailed enough.
So i fell into the caring role for my isolated, blind Dad. Which at first seemed fine, but a couple of years on and i am feeling the effects of the emotional stress and it is very draining sometimes.
He is registered blind, chair bound, doesnt leave his house because of chronic anxiety of not being able to see as he has only been completely blind for about 13 years. He REFUSES to have a professional carer and just wants me to do everything for him which i dont mind doing if thats what makes him happy, but i forget about myself sometimes. I have a 3 year old and work and im at Uni.,so sometimes its just all too much!!! does anyone know if there is any kind of carers support groups out there that i can get in contact with just to have someone to speak to would really help me. i feel like i am constantly helping others and no ones there for me
Welcome to the forum.
Tell us a bit more about your situation and we may be able to help a bit.
How old is dad, what is wrong with him. Can he do much for himself?
Is he claiming a disability benefit?
What would you like to change most of all?
So many parents think they have a right to control their children’s lives, but as adults their children CANNOT be forced to do ANYTHING!
You are the one in control of your life, the only power dad has over you is the power you let him have.
I was 60, too late, before counselling helped me see that I had no life of my own, too busy helping others too!
Do you live full time with dad?
How does he manage when you are at uni?
I study with the Open University so i study in my spare time (when ever that may be these days!) I have a 3 year old son and a partner and a very happy homelife, it is just the caring role i have for my dad that gets me down sometimes because it is draining. No i dont live with Dad, i am 31 and have my own family etc
Dad lives 5 mins down the road from me though. The problem i have is that Dad refuses to have a professional carer and sometimes i just am so drained i worry about what would happen if i stopped.
I’m really glad you have a happy home life.
When did you last go away as a family?
I know it seems a ridiculous question, but you cannot put dad before a normal family life.
He has no right to you or your time.
My friend’s daughter and family emigrated to Australia to get away from a hopelessly domineering mother in law.
Is dad in denial about the care he needs?
Does he keep phoning you?
I had to put my answer phone on and leave it on. I needed to write a magazine, impossible with endless interruptions.
it sounds like you have a lot to juggle!
Has your Dad had any involvement from the RNIB or SENSE? They offer support to those with visual impairment/blindness and those with acquired sight loss.
I honestly think you need to start introducing other people into the equation, starting with one person, whether it is a companion/befriender/ cleaner/gardener or whatever. At first they could visit your Dad with you - you could even introduce them as a friend of yours or someone who is there to help you etc