Yet another new member!

New to Carers Connect
21

Thanks for all comments! I feel a bilike im dismissing a lot but I’ve thought over a lot of these options already.

We are not married, despite being together so long and me being classed as his carer (im some ways it might be easier if we were.

@bowlingbun i dont think couples counselling would help as he refuses to acknowledge there is an issue (and doesn’t even when he has his own personal counselling).

@Melly1 oh i have done that before but as its one of the few things he actually does i think it can be beneficial to push him to do it regardless.

Its not even that it took too long to dry - i pegged it out on the line before going to work (8.30) and it was brought in at 4 all smelly so who knows whata happened. Ive cleaned the machine now so will re wash them when i get a chance.

I couldn’t leave the food waste as it was smelling (gone off oranges) but i can, have, and do leave somethings if they are full to see how long it takes him to deal with it.

Today was a better day. Super busy in work but i really enjoy that. Dinner cooked when i got in and he was in a better mood. Its my weekend off now so will take down the Christmas decorations and try to relax!

1 Like
22

Maybe consider counselling for yourself? When I was newly widowed, newly disabled after a car accident, caring for my brain damaged son and housebound mum, it was all too much to cope with. Usually I’m the one helping others, but I was on the verge of a breakdown. It was incredibly helpful, learning not to feel guilty about what I couldn’t do, but proud of what I was doing. Also learning that I could never change mum, but could and should change the way I reacted to all her demands. Most of all I realised that despite all sorts of things, I wanted to help mum because I loved her.