Thanks for all comments! I feel a bilike im dismissing a lot but I’ve thought over a lot of these options already.
We are not married, despite being together so long and me being classed as his carer (im some ways it might be easier if we were.
@bowlingbun i dont think couples counselling would help as he refuses to acknowledge there is an issue (and doesn’t even when he has his own personal counselling).
@Melly1 oh i have done that before but as its one of the few things he actually does i think it can be beneficial to push him to do it regardless.
Its not even that it took too long to dry - i pegged it out on the line before going to work (8.30) and it was brought in at 4 all smelly so who knows whata happened. Ive cleaned the machine now so will re wash them when i get a chance.
I couldn’t leave the food waste as it was smelling (gone off oranges) but i can, have, and do leave somethings if they are full to see how long it takes him to deal with it.
Today was a better day. Super busy in work but i really enjoy that. Dinner cooked when i got in and he was in a better mood. Its my weekend off now so will take down the Christmas decorations and try to relax!
Maybe consider counselling for yourself? When I was newly widowed, newly disabled after a car accident, caring for my brain damaged son and housebound mum, it was all too much to cope with. Usually I’m the one helping others, but I was on the verge of a breakdown. It was incredibly helpful, learning not to feel guilty about what I couldn’t do, but proud of what I was doing. Also learning that I could never change mum, but could and should change the way I reacted to all her demands. Most of all I realised that despite all sorts of things, I wanted to help mum because I loved her.
Dear BeccaP
I am Kristie i am an online community host for on the forum for Carers UK. Welcome to the forum. It sounds like you have an awful lot on your plate at the moment so to say and i hope that soon you get some outside extra help from your family. As you have already posted on the forum and have had many replies i would like to say keep connecting because i know it is not the same but the forum has a number of carers from all walks of life who understand what you are going through and are happy to support you and share their experiences.
There is a Carers UK Forum and email address on the forum so please if you need to find it on the Forum and give them a ring. They can help you with guiding you to filling out forms for welfare benefits. Also your local citizens advice bureau can help too please think of going there for help with your forms.
I will be sending you a follow up message soon to see how you are getting on there are people who care about you.
Hi Becca, I am also in south Wales and wanted to say that citizens advice did a brill job helping my husband who then had anxiety and depression (now has another mental illness) fill out the PiP form. I was very grateful I didn’t have to do it as have enough on our plate with our kids and work. Before he went into hospital he would have some days in bed which I’d find resentful enough so would feel hard if he was gaming too though I guess there’s some social connection there.
And your cat is about the same weight as our petite 1 year old I think
Hi weasel - thanks for taking the time to reply - good to know there are others here in south wales! Im afraid i do t have much faith in the citizens advice here. They really didnt do well when we first filled in the forms for universal credit, then gave us the wrong log in detaila to complete the claim. I ended up just starting over again myself. They also booked us several appointments to do the forms and had no idea what we were on about when we turned up to the appointments and there was nobody there that day who could help us
He has good days and bad days but yes he is either sleeping or gaming. He did go out (by himself!) day before yesterday to visit his parents so i had a day to myself (im on annual leave)
Im doing my best to relax and planning to start a stew cooking for dinner tonight when the cat lets me. She is indeed huge, especially for a female cat and while she isnt cheap shes with us for life now (she is a rescue and we got her at 18months old at which point we were her 5th home - poor thing)
Hope everyone is coping at the moment - january is always a tough month
