Would you believe I'm the carer?

Carers' health and wellbeing
1

Hi.

I haven’t been here for a while so I thought I’d post an update.

I’m not feeling sorry for myself but a speech by the health secretary at the Labour conference yesterday amused me.

I’ve been caring for my wife who has neuropathic pain in her back, legs & groin for around 15 years. I’m not counting. As a result I do most household tasks plus help her with finance, doc & hospital, personal hygiene, etc, etc…. You get the idea. She is capable of doing things on good days but has many bad days that are a different story.

Here’s the funny bit……. I’ve been diagnosed with Parkinson’s, had my prostate gland successfully whipped out due to cancer, last week told I have angina, seeing a consultant for ongoing skin cancer and I’ve been invited for a lung cancer scan.

I’m just cracking on with life…. it is what it is and we’ll deal with the future when it happens but who cares for the carer?

Last week, after ensuring wife was fully catered for, I took myself off camping and walking for 3 days . It was so liberating. I pushed myself physically, got to talk to new people, visited new areas and slept like a log, don’t forget a visit to the pub.

Of course I checked my wife’s wellbeing while away.

Some people may call this selfish but it invigorated me for myself and my caring role. I came home ready for action again, ready to celebrate wife’s birthday and our 26th wedding anniversary.

I wonder now if the Health Secretary has camping breaks on the agenda for helping carers. Fresh air and respite is probably a cheap tonic if only it was available to everyone.

I’m not sure there’s a point to this post. Maybe just a reminder to take time for ourselves because nobody will make it for us.

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@Mark_D Howdy! Great to see you back and thanks for sharing.

Holy cannoli, you’ve been through loads (understatement!) So I’m sending you best wishes for your health and well-being, and big hugs of empathy. It sounds like you’re stoically getting on with everything, even though its a ton…I’m guessing you’re taking it bit by bit - it’s always uncomfortable listing it all out.

It’s great to hear you took yourself off to go camping and walking. Change in environment can be a great brain switcher, and talking to new people is something I like to do too. Sometimes it’s good to talk about things outside of the ‘care’ context.

Congratulations and Happy Anniversary to you and your wife.

Yep, the Health Secretary is focused on productivity measures rather than the welfare of carers, or ways to enable us to stay well. I won’t go into the politics of it all but suffice to say, I agree that we need to find ways to take time for ourselves. I’m glad we can connect with other carers here. I think there’s no one-size-fits-all solution for us all but sharing our experiences with each other can help us figure out what fits.

Best wishes for your upcoming scan

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@Mark_D …..wow you’ve been through and are going through a lot!! I’m glad you got some time for yourself on what sounds like a well earned and deserved break. Happy anniversary to you both.