I think this may be posted on the wrong sub-forum. However, I am not sure where to place it. The issue is a little sensitive, so please feel free to move the post if this is appropriate.
My mother is 92 and has no formal diagnosis of disability. However, she is frail and she gets a little confused at times. She is cared for by my brother, who may very well have his own needs. My mother and brother live on an isolated farm.
I visit as often as I can, but it is clear that my mother is perhaps not being looked after well as she should be. Yet, although the house is very run down and dirty, it has been like this for as long as I can remember. Indeed, the state of the house etc was mentioned when I was at primary school fifty years ago.
My mother has fallen down some stairs and broken her hip. About six months ago, she fell down some steps to the pantry and cut her head. On both occasions medical professionals who have attended my mother expressed serious concerns about the way she was living and her ‘unkempt’ state. Added to this, a scan has revealed an aneurysm on her aorta.
This time, the expression of concern is more serious. My brother said that he has been told assessments will be made by social services before my mother can return to the house. He is very worried that he will not be able to adaptations they will require. He is also distressed because he fears she will not be able to return to the house due to safeguarding issues.
I am torn. My mother wants to come home. She has lived there for nearly seventy years. The farm is her life in many ways. Yet I know there are safeguarding issues involving not only the environment, but also my brother’s ability to meet her basic needs.
If I dropped one or two work commitments, I could visit every day, but this would also depend on my son’s ability to drive me to the farm (he has serious mental health issues). I could also help my brother to pay for carers.
My main concern is that even if we managed to get at least a couple of rooms in a comfortable state, and made sure my mother had carers every day (and/or I came to help out) this would not be considered enough.
I am sorry for the ramble. I am very worried about my mother, but I am also concerned about my brother. I think I am looking for a way of predicting the outcome, even though this may not be possible.