Concerned for some of my family members

I really hope someone will read my post,and offer some advice as I really don’t know what I can do to solve what is going on.
My mum is 82,and in November of 2018 she had a fall and broke her hip,after returning home,in December,she has not been out the house,and her moods are very low.
The living situation at my mum’s home is getting unbearable,in the living room,I have a 50year old brother,he is bedbound and sleeps in the same room as my mum and my other brother,who is in his 40 looks after both of them,the tension and conversation is just awful and I feel it can’t go on like this
Please help

Has your mum had a Needs Assessment and your brother a Carers Assessment?

Hi Shirley,
Welcome to the forum.

Do you live there too?

Does your Mum own or rent the house, and if she rents it, is it from a private landlord?

Do any outside care workers help your brother with the caring?

Thoughts that come to mind are: would your Mum cope with a stairlift or is there a dining room that could be converted into another downstairs bedroom or could your brother move into residential care/ supported living or your Mum move into a care home or does your brother want to carry on looking after them both, but in a more suitable property?

More questions than answers, I’m afraid. With a bit more info from you, we might be able to make more tailored suggestions.


How on earth did this situation develop? Was a home assessment done by the hospital or Social Services before discharge?!! There are so many things that need untangling, it will take time. Can you tell us more about your housebound brother first. What is wrong with him. So unfair to be so disabled at such a young age. Is your other brother caring for him and mum full time. Finally, what would you see as the best solution? More care at home, an extension, moving to a bungalow…?