Wife Refusing to Sign Attendance Allowance Form

I am my wife’s carer and obviously to be counted as a carer fiscally, she needs to be on Attendance Allowance.

My wife has Depression and Psychosis and since she was sent home on a Community Treatment Order in December, her care has been in my hands. Obviously, there is no question that I would not care for her but after paying my dues for 44 years of work, I thought I might have some benefit for it.

Carers Allowance is conditional on the person being cared for getting an allowance. I have therefore started that ball rolling but answering questions about sleep, toileting, food, Meds and the like but she is proud and believes the answers are unfair and painting her in a bad light. With the underlying theory that it is to get her back to hospital. But all supported by the CTO documentation from a Psychiatrist and Care Coordinator. If I answer that all is Rosy in our Garden, she and I will see nothing from the DWP.

What do I do?

A couple of things, (and apologies if you already know), Attendance Allowance is for the over 65s, which as you’ve been paying taxes etc for 44 years your wife may well be that, if not she would need to claim a different benefit, also, once you take your State Pension your Carers Allowance will stop.

As to how to convince her to sign, I’m a bit stumped, presumably you’ve outlined the financial benefits to you both as a couple. Could you entice her with the potential of some personal treats (financed by the AA) for her?

The wife is a pensioner and I am now retired but only 60. So although I wish her to be well, I have 6 years ahead of me if she isn’t.

I am going to put a new blank form in front of her and coax her to fill it in herself. Although if she chooses to ‘go soft’ with her answers and we do not qualify - I will just have to accept it.

The Government and hospitals win hands down with the Care in Community routine they force upon families. How many husbands would point blank refuse to have their wives home with them? They save thousands in care and then make it the most horrendous task to get a small amount of compensation for assisting them.

I understand her reluctance to admit she struggles with things and needs help - filling in the form probably makes it all the more real to her. I hate filling in PIP forms for S, focusing on all the negative.

However, you have given up work to care for her and you do need money to live on and buy treats etc therefore my only suggestion is that you give her choice either she signs the form or you go back to work and she has a Needs Assessment and paid carers or goes to a day centre (when they open) whilst you are arc work.


I tried for years with my mother in law in the end. I called adult team social services. Who sent out an adviser to fill the form in. The adviser asked the carer my father in law. What help he provided to his wife for each section. In the end mum in law realised how much her husband was doing. And she was awarded the full attendance allowance. And guess what is a now a very happy person.

There needs to be a needs assessment for you both. Then a discussion will arise that your wife needs to apply for attendance allowance. And you carers allowance.



I know how incredible frustrating it is.

Citizens Advice also are trained to fill these forms out. And are trained on how to extract the information. Without people getting offended.