Who do i contact? First Step?

Really have a lot of problems coping, tired irritable basically unable to cope anymore, so who do I contact?

I went to A&E was there for 5 hours, explained just I couldn’t cope anymore caring, tired exhausted etc. NOTHING WAS DONE.

I spent years arguing with Social Services, complaints, Ombudsman, NOTHING WAS DONE.

I went through Mental Health Services for almost 4 years, took almost 2 years just to see someone in the first place, but was REFUSED unpaid caring help as my caree was not a service user. Gave up in the end.

I contacted the crisis service telephone helpline again and again who referred me to Social Services but I wanted advocacy to help with carers assessment etc WAS REFUSED.

I telephoned the advocacy service but was again REFUSED.

I telephoned my local councelling service and was refused councelling as I have a personality disorder, they don’t deal with personality disorders.

I have contacted my local carers centre who have told me to contact Social Services, Social Services don’t deal with Mental illness.
The Mental Health Services have told me to contact my local carers centre for Mental Health Support, none was provided.

One of my carees died last year was given no bereavement help support etc.

I have been to my G.P. multiple times, he doesn’t understand the unpaid caring situation.

So what who is my first step? I have been an unpaid carer over 20 years but have no carer help/support plan, I don’t know who to contact who to help? been there ,done that, bought the t-shirt.

There is simply no one on my side, willing to actually help and support me, majority of the time I am signposted to organisations who just won’t help.

I would like help going through the whole Social Services process, Needs Assessment, carers assessment etc e.g Advocacy but was refused Advocacy.

So who do I contact first, would like a fresh start and get some help and support in my unpaid caring role?

What age are you?

What do you think would really make a difference to your current situation

Have you ever contacted Carers UK help line or Citizens Advice.

Made any contact with local charities organisations . They provide lots of help in different ways.

Hiya Londonbound, I know how distressing it is to be ignored and how frustrating it is. The services do this when they don’t wish to help. It’s also difficult to put into words to others as when it gets to that stage. it’s normally like you say a whole number of services who let us down. Like dominos. Then when it’s taken to people like M.P.'s they find it confusing and simply don’t know which service to deal with first as it’s so complicated when it has to be taken there. Due to the ignoring, there’s usually not much paperwork or evidence…other than total ignoring that’s gone on.
People like the Ombudsman always give the Council all the say, even if it’s factually incorrect. Then the ombudsman will say…it’s the Council, not us saying that…but they still take the Council’s twisting of events onboard for the decision making. Even if they know it’s wrong. Our voices as carers are smothered and ignored.
I have put up for the same situation as you …for 34 years. There is one difference though for me as I never give up hope and I also expose what they’ve done…in a way, they can’t prevent. Nobody would want to have to do this but in my experience, it has had to be done. Although they ignore me…and me them now, I still manage to move them eventually. On my own, I might add. They may do wrong and not back down but eventually, they actually do. Mostly in a way that they think is ‘their decision’ and I let them believe it.
One thing I will say to you is it’s a blessing if you’re able to get movement AND as a bonus keep the likes of social services out of the door. Also any other toxic professional’s. To be fair, you have a right to self apply for an advocate, although they aren’t much help as they are limited on what they can do and the services know this.

By the way, carer’s services are the best to support carers and definitely not social services. I would keep well clear of them as they aren’t overly honest, in my experience or opinion. Don’t give up Londonbound as well as don’t be pushed about.

I’ll give you a laugh…Today I phoned up an assistant Ombudsman who had ‘looked at’ a very unfairly decision his superior had made and on the basis of factually incorrect information, this ‘assistant’ had written and told me ‘it doesn’t matter’ if it’s factually incorrect. I spoke with this person today and he was a proper snob, who actually thought the ombudsman office belonged to him. Told me ‘he would put the phone down on me’…I said, oh no you won’t as I am going to put it down on you…’ ‘snotty nose’…and I did so and he was fuming…just like I had been regarding his unfairness.

I am in my fortys, I started unpaid caring in my twentys, but started actively seeking help when I was diagnosed with personality disorder in 2002.
so an unpaid carer with personality disorder, surely that means I get extra help and support? NO.
I first contacted carers U.K, back in 2008? who advised Social Services and a carers assessment, I contacted social Services and had carers assessments but at the end was given no help.

CAB I took my caree to the CAB, quite a few times regarding care situation, they didn’t do much.

I have contacted charitys but basically advise me care issues, contact Social Services, I have done.

Charitys have had their funding cut by the council and again are limited to what they can do.

No one is willing to help I am just signposted elsewhere often back to the same organisation that signposted me to the other organisation in the first place.
I don’t own my house, I rent along with my carees, the housing support has been cut, so I was referred to an independent tenancy support organisation who referred me to social services. Its social services who have cut the support, so i’m asking for services that have been deliberately cut and not going to be reinstated.
The tenancy support organisation should have fought for the tenants but they didn’t passed the buck basically.

Like I have said through the complaints and ombudsman, the council have done their best to help, how many breaks have I had, how many grants have I had, how much support have I had NONE, been driven to crisis point again and again.

The council are cutting services forcing unpaid carers to do more and more.


I was reading a report last night about councils tightening up their eligibility criteria rather than strictly adhering to The Care Act (we all know they dont) this particular council had it written down that they would not fund a package if there was a relative or similar willing and able to do it

It is hard to grasp that there is so little support for carers

I am convinced that if I had have had more support and more services suited to my oldest sons needs he would not yet be going to supported housing, at least for a few years anyway.

What has happened when you have been in crisis, have you ever phoned the emergency number for adult services to get them to step in ?

Other people in paid professions are allowed to go off sick We are not !..

The council has tightened up their eligilibilty criteria only help the most severely disabled, but that’s my carees, majority disabled from birth, needing care support from birth to the grave.
And unfortunately majority don’t have relatives, don’t have anyone, husband etc, single elderly, disabled and living on their own.

So they are getting a care package but very basic, doesn’t include anything like shopping, cleaning, emergency care, night care.

From the last call which may be 4pm, there is no help until the next morning, it is not dial a carer, you cannot phone the care agency at 8pm and say look I have a problem, can you send someone to help, they don’t do that.

If my carees cannot cope, they have to move into supported housing, leave their own home and community where they might have been living independently for 50 years.
It is only by me and other friends helping they can manage e.g unpaid carers.

I have put in another post, the council are building extra care housing units, a big building 50 flats, but with services built in, carers full time, day and night, community facilitys, restaurant etc.
So in the future, disabled people probably won’t be living in the community but living in Extra Care units.

Crisis, I have been to A&E, seen emergency mental health teams, explained my issues time and time again, but they insist the carers centre and social services should be helping me, they don’t and won’t.

The whole idea of the carers centre is to prevent carers getting to crisis point, so if I end up at A&E then clearly that is not working.
But Social services insist I am mentally ill, Personality disorder, therefore it is mental health services who should be giving me support.
Until this issue is sorted who should be helping, I am receiving no help.
But surely they should all be working together to provide unpaid help support, Joint Working.

Emergency number for adult services, I didn’t even know there was one, I have no idea what the number is?

I have just been given no information, advice, support or anything, totally left in the dark.

Go off sick , I am ill anyway on sickness benefit so technically should not be caring.

Basically I gave up asking for help, providing me an afternoon break when I then have to do night care, that’s no use.

Contacting the crisis service, waiting weeks for social services and a carers assessment, explaining my issues and getting no help, just a waste of time.
There is no point having a carers assessment if there is no money to provide the services needed.

I had the same issue with getting adaptive equipment for my brother. I phoned the council several months ago and asked if I could have adaptive equipment and a needs assessment carried out. The council could not assist me at all. In the end, I had to contact the DLF to obtain adaptive mobility equipment for him. I even threatened to write to my local newspaper. I even had a hard time getting a wheelchair for him and had to acquire one privately when social services failed to do their job properly. I used my savings to fund his wheelchair. I also fundraised.

The council are just cutting and cutting services and making it impossible for the disabled to live any kind of independent life.
They don’t want people to live in care, but won’t provide the proper support in the community forcing people into care which of course costs money.

The NHS wheelchair service should provide suitable wheelchairs for disabled people but again there are issues.
It was in our paper, a young disabled person was refused an NHS wheelchair, and they had to raise money and buy a private one, you just can’t get the help you need.
It’s not just the council, NHS criteria is being raised.
You can only get an electric wheelchair if you can’t walk one single step, so you might be able to walk around the house but need an electric wheelchair outside, go to the park, see friends, go shopping but you are REFUSED.
They should be thinking about socialising etc and the disabled without the right equipment are stuck at home depressed and isolated, its just really bad and unfair.

Please Google Motability electric wheelchairs for more information on this subject.There is also an organisation called Whizz kids or similar.