Hi, I am new on this forum. In 2010 my dad died in hospital and I gave up work to look after my Mum which she had Parkinson’s Disease since 1998, and 19th July 2021 she passed away at home in my care after 11 years of caring for her.
It’s not be easy since her death, keep thinking of her everyday, the last two weeks have be weird knowing that she is not here anymore. How long do I grieve for? When do I find work again? Carers allowance money comes to an end next month after eight weeks of my Mums death.
Anyone in the same situation as me or how have you got threw this?
What happens next after caring ends?
Hi Stephen,
welcome to the forum.
Condolences on the loss of your Mum. You ask how long your grieve for. Well their is no set time for grieving, everyone is different and there is no right or wrong way to do it.
Others on here have experience of this and will be along to offer support.
In the meantime, you might find this information helpful When caring ends or changes | Carers UK
Melly1
15 years ago my husband died unexpectedly in his sleep, from a massive heart attack, when he was 58, I was 54.
I was really in a state of shock for a long time.
On the other hand dad died of prostate cancer, and mum died at 87 from a multitude of illnesses, I could not wish her to live another day, she was so ill. My lovely sister in law died of dementia and a stroke, my brother from pancreatic cancer.
I loved them all. Their loss is especially hard at family occasions when I have the feeling “they should be here”. However, they all live on in my heart, as mum will in yours.
Sometimes when I’m doing something, I just know what they would be saying about the situation, like a parrot on my shoulder.
Be kind to yourself, concentrate on making yourself well again, try to get some exercise, sleep well, eat well.
Look on ebay and you should find a book called “Starting Again” by Sarah Litvinoff. I found it very helpful in directing my thoughts, although primarily for divorcees, so much is applicable to anyone grieving too.
Stephen
I too have lost parents a sister, a nephew who died from cot death at 4months, and most recently my lovely husband who suffered strokes, vascular dementia and other health issues. I think of my husband every day, in fact he is rarely from my mind. I’ve learned to adjust to the different way of life. Take one day at a time,. Grief hopefully will change to happier memories, with the saddest times getting less. Time to look after yourself now. Phone the job centre perhaps and explain your situation. They should give advice.
I lost my dad in May after caring for him for ten years. I am lost without him. I am an only child who also has M.E. I had my benefit taken away from me before I started claiming carers allowance. I now only have a very small works pension which doesn’t cover all my bills. Due to M.E. I can only work for a couple of hours at a time before my energy runs out and there are very few jobs in that range. Because I can do something I am considered fit for work. Thankfully I have good savings to do me a few years but I am at a loss as to what my purpose in life is.
Hello everyone, I can relate to this as my father passed away in November. The R.D.E Bereavement service was so good. The one stop contact for all Government depts was efficient. But what next? I too thought that my Carer’s allowance would continue for 6-8 weeks. I received 1 payment in December & my Income Support continued through to 2nd week of January.
My local council had been good: I got a refund, they advised that I did not have to pay council tax after December & my housing benefit increased.
I even got a refund this week from HM revenue. But, I have not received any letters about my income, I just returned a form notifying them of my change of status. I’m thinking of studying, so will check the “learning for living” programme.
Thanks everyone, Kevin