I am new to posting so hopefully this is in the right place, I would like to ask the question what happens when we all stop caring. My partner died last February 2021 I’m still grieving. Whilst there are many organisations who can offer support and counselling for the grieving part of life. What about the practicalities, help with finding a job, rebuilding your life again I presume many like myself find themselves alone and not sure where to turn to. I realise I am lucky there is some money in the bank which makes me not able to obtain benefits which might help access help to find work but if that is not the case then what - at 60 I have nearly decade before I can get my pension - dont have enough money to keep me going to that time but i have not been at work for a decade where will i get references from life moves on very quickly and your referees leave the jobs you were once in. It feels like your no longer of any use. There needs to be a register of carers (forgive me if there is one) so that we can be contacted and offered help and assistance to move on with our life when we are no longer caring. I would love to hear others thoughts and experiences.
Hello & Welcome Christine
Condolences for the loss of your partner.
There should be a local carers group in your area. These groups also support former carers.
Some people take on a volunteer position where that can gain/renew there previous skills. These position are good at giving references.
Depending on what career you are thinking of. Look on line for adult courses many are free and give printable certificates. As you know employees like to see skills development etc.
I don’t know this organisation personally it’s just an example.
I was suddenly widowed 16 years ago, when I was 54, leaving me to care for our brain damaged son, and a housebound mum 6 miles away, and run our business which owned 30 tons of vintage lorry spares. Three months later I was nearly killed in a car accident, virtually unable to walk for years until I had two knee replacements.
My eldest son moved in with me and converted our garage to a bedroom as I couldn’t get upstairs any more.
I don’t know how we survived, but we did.
Have you had a holiday since you were widowed? I learned to live and laugh again at the Mistral Hotel in Maleme, Crete. Purely for single travellers, some never married, some divorced, some widowed. As everyone is single, unlike other hotels, all the guests talk to each other, no lonely single tables for one by the kitchen door here. The food is mainly grown in the market garden next door, the Med is a stones throw away, and there are 2 swimming pools for 40 guests.
I found a book called “Starting Again” by Sarah Litvinoff helpful, it helped me work out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life on my own. I met the man who would be my husband at 16, married at 19, travelled the world together, but I’d never lived alone before!
Have you joined Way Up? Their forum is helpful as others go through the same process as you.