Dear Den54
Hello and welcome to the Forum. I am Kristie an online host for Carers UK. I have read your message and would like to say that it sounds like you have a lot on your plate at the moment are you getting any outside support? I know it might not feel the same but the Forum has a number of carers from all walks of life who will understand what you are going through and are happy to support you and share their experiences. Do chat on the Forum it might help you.
There are two online meet ups once a week Care For A Cuppa and Share and Learn for you to be able to talk about your problems. Do try and attend.
I will message you soon to see how you are getting on and coping.
Best wishes
Kristie.
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Very sensible advice thank you. I will try to do that, although finding time to engage with carers who are already short staffed and very busy, it might take a while.
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Thank you, I have had some support from a friend who rings me most days to ask how I am but to be honest, they are just keen to keep getting me to engage with Dad as much as possible, which doesnât help.
I have received a call from my GP surgery, with a link to some support services, including a in-person self-care course, I believe this might have come as a referral from Dadâs care home.
I will try to attend the online meet ups but to be honest, doing more things just creates more overwhelm and stress for me.
Yes, people who have never been long term carers just donât understand. My counsellor made me realise that as far as mum was concerned I was always being an obedient little girl, which was true. My counsellor said that as an adult, and mum of someone brain damaged, a home to run, my priorities were different from mumâs. She was totally self centred, but had absolutely no right to tell me what to do. My life, my choice.
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No-one understands unless they have been through it. I think very much it is a similar situation with myself. On Friday when I last visited Dad, the district nurse came to put dressings on his legs and it turned out she was someone I went to secondary school with. Really lovely person, not a close friend, but someone I always got along with and we were in the same class for a couple of years. We talked about our ages and when I said I was 55, Dad seemed shocked and said ââHow old??!!ââ - clearly Dad still thought I was still a child whom he could command! After that he didnât say a word! I probably could do with counselling but unfortunately canât afford it at present, so I am having to try and manage with books on appropriate subjects.
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After a battle, my counselling was paid for by the LA, as part of an assessed need.
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