No recognistion of toilet


I care for my father who is 78 and has vascular dementia. I have lived with him for the past 4 years with my two young children. It was a pleasant enough set up until recently. The lockdown meant all my dads day services etc stopped.

Things have been very difficult since lock down. My father is more confused. His condition seems to have accelerated. He now doesn’t remember how to use the toilet and keeps pooing in the shower which blocks it. We had a terrible leak last week which caused dirty water to soak all of his carpet and leaked through the ceiling into rooms downstairs. I spent 2 days sanitising the house. Today, again he pooed in the shower but luckily rememder to turn shower off. Its another disaster waiting to happen.

Any advice on how i can prevent him from doing this. He does it through the night or early morning when im still sleeping.

Any tips and advice would be welcome.


Nahida, I’m afraid your dad’s dementia is accelerating very rapidly, and the time has come for him to move somewhere with 24/7 care.

It would be impossible if you were caring for him alone, but you cannot look after him and two children as well. They deserve your full attention, a happy, healthy, relaxed mum, not someone permanently exhausted, as you must be.

The first step is to contact Social Services.
Does dad own any property or have over £23,000 in savings? (Yes/No)