Struggling with mum.

hi all, im new here. Im caring for my 80yr old mum. 4 weeks ago I had to remove her from a abusive marriage and bring her to live with me. I feel terrible about moaning about this but I have no time to myself. She is sharing my bedroom and its turned my life upside down. There are now 6 of us living in my small 3 bed house. I just don’t know where to turn. Already I feel my mental health going down hill.

Hi Rachael

You need to get an urgent needs assessment for you and your mum.

Are you expecting you Mum to remain with you. Or move on…

Clearly, sharing a room is not ideal.

Have you contacted you local council.

Rachel, if she was being abused at home, then the abuser should have been made to leave, NOT mum! Have you involved Social Services, the Police?
What was happening? Does mum need a lot of care?

Hi thank you for your replies…mum doesn’t struggle with her mobility, just struggles with confidence and doesn’t want to be left alone for any amount of time…even if I leave the room to go to the bathroom she asks where I’m going!..I cant breathe…she had been offered a council flat, when I told her the other day I had nothing but crying and wailing for 2hrs until I managed to calm her down. She seems to want to continue living with me which just isn’t working as said before im sharing my bedroom with her…I’ve also been quite shocked that she seems to know nothing about my life, my relationships, holidays I’ve been on…etc, its quite upsetting that she never wanted to know when I was happy and enjoying my life, now she is happy as she is all consuming and has me all to herself, I love her … but I just want to get in my car and disappear!!!

In that case, maybe residential is the best option so she is not alone?

It is a great work and we hope you’ll get the benefit from this support. Though i don’t have any wordings. Be patience and try to be claim in this situation.

Hello,I look after my dad who lives with me,I know what you are going through on a daily basis,he 93 iam 54 ian

Yes you health will suffer,I’m not the type to ask for help,that’s why iam on here to help myself. Ian 15/9/2020