Was using google to try and find support which has landed me to this site so thought id give it a go.
Im 39 and caring for my mum 67 who has anxiety and depression along with a few physical disabilities which has now meant i had to give up work and care for her full time.
Im married and we all live under the same roof
In recent weeks I’ve found myself struggling and currently have tonsililitus so feeling pretty rubbish.
I find myself doing pretty much everything in the house while my husband just goes out does whatever he pleases and im stuck in running around. Lately i feel like my mum is judging everything i do so stuff isnt good enough.
Im basically a glorified housekeeper. I know this must sound selfish but i have no one to turn to and just feel hopeless at the moment and dont know what to do with myself
Can you move out again?
I know how you are feeling bless your heart. I’ve the same with my dad moving in with us. Although I’m 50. I didn’t know how hard it would be to give up your freedom and basically your lifestyle. I would never ask my kids to do this it is wrong. And as a parent myself I wish our elderly people would remember that we have feelings and also need care as in understanding and kindness and space etc obviously if dementia is there its not really possible. But in my dads case he is fully aware of what he is doing. Can you try calling social services? I’m now looking at homes as I know it’s not healthy for my husband and I and at the end of the day it could be years that you have to do this.
Good luck and hope you get some help soon x
Hi I feel you. I’ve been my mum’s carer since March 2023. I find her very hard work at times. I try my best to help her and especially with her personal care. She doesn’t like to wash or wear clean clothes. Recently she has been accusing me of stealing money on her (and I haven’t). I feel a bit depressed sometimes 
This is exactly what my Mum does to me. Accuses me of stealing her money. Sometimes I feel as though Im not her daughter but her slave. To treat me as she wishes. She was abusive long before she had the dementia. She is very challenging at times. We have carers coming in four times a day. But when they go its just me and her. And I just take the brunt of her nasty mouth. Because she has this nasty mouth on her. My brother and sister keep away from her. I cant say Id blame them one iota. Despite me being her carer she doesnt think I do anything for her. Has anyone any coping strategies to cope with her challenging behaviour. Her Doctor even said to me I dont know how you cope. Mum went to hospital tonight to be assessed. It was the Doctors decision. And a part of me feels relieved. But before I had a good cry. So anyone going through the same thing as me. Hugs, love and compassion.
Hugs, hospital visiting can be difficult. Decide what you want to happen next. Does mum own or rent her house? I ask everyone who is caring for someone with dementia if they are receiving Attendance Allowance or Disability Living Allowance? If so, they should also be exempt from Council Tax, and this CAN be backdated!