Thank you for the advice. I am trying to do what I can. I am not sure they know it has gone to court yet. But I cant help but feel they should have done something faster, they have known the guy is dangerous since December however her social worker changed and there was a time period of six weeks where she had no support creating a whole range of issues which have had listing impact. She now has the carers and is responding great to them. Her carer has become like her best friend and she helps her a lot.
I am a little confused about the whole situation though, there is alot of conflicting things going on in my head. Like I know this order tomorrow will have little impact if it is granted or not. However she has to return for bail at the end of the month, however a police offer said to her that they are going to have a meeting after for what she wants to do about the abuser and the ongoing cases. The bail date was supposed to happen last month, but it was cancelled last minute due to illness of a police officer. Most other cases have been closed due to a lack of evidence and only three remain. Two against him and one against mum.
According to mum there was one incident where she saw the abuser in the street whilst she was with her carer apparently she reacted really badly and was very scared.
I have just had enough of all this. This should not be the role of a carer.
Last night I fell asleep early as I was hoping to relieve some of the anxiety. I woke up about 2am, and had successive periods of waking up and being sick. At 5am I woke up because some sort of smoke alarm went off I think. I cant remember.
I keep telling mum that this ‘I can go off the rails’ behaviour needs to stop, and she needs to stop thinking that she is invincible because she can use her dead partner as an excuse. I am not saying she is guilty I am just saying she is acting like she can’t be hurt. She makes stupid decisions and puts on the ‘I am a strong woman, I can beat them act.’ She cant beat them she is far too vulnerable. What strength does she have now the abuser has done what he has done.
I keep telling her to avoid pubs in dodgy areas or even pubs in general. I am not saying they are all bad at all. I have told her she is better off going to social bars and clubs. They often have stricter rules and have zero tolerance approach to anything. There are a few LGBTQA+ bars in the area, I told her that they are probably better for the social experience, at least drag Queens will be entertaining and nice people. A pubs best friend is an alcoholic, why else would they open at 10am? So why would they throw out their best customers, mum fails to recognise this.
I am also fed up of people bad talking my dad in all of this too. There is a saying in journalism, the ‘dead can’t defend themselves’ or ‘the dead can’t sue you.’ Its a harsh term but one I use wisely to mean don’t talk badly about the dead because they cant defend themselves. Some other papers will take those words as do what you want, but we don’t.
I say this because I am fed up of my dad being used in such a way and allegations being made up about his behaviour. Dad was a gentleman that died way before his time it was a tragedy. Life before his death was totally different to what it is now. I miss him everyday.
Me and my sister drove to the shop yesterday, and as I drove we were sharing our memories of him including the fact that you would have to email him because he would never answer the phone. Many email exhanges were very funny conversations, but that is what dad was like. We laughed hysterically at our memories.